by muffinstud » Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:25 pm
The nameless intern closes the door and leans against it. "Finally."
"Juicy! There's already tension building between them, and it hasn't even started yet!" The woman in the darkened room peered down at Dave. "How many angles caught that punch?" Dave frowned and flipped a couple of switches. "Six." The woman sighed. "I guess that'll have to do. But!!!" She dry-washed her hands. "Now we can start!" She pulled a microphone from off of the console and held it up close. "How do you turn this thing on?" Dave pressed a button.
In the lounge, a speaker system crackles for a brief moment. "Thank you." A woman can be heard clearing her throat. She resumes talking in a commanding yet pretty Alto. "The studio would like to welcome all of you here today, and we are quite happy that you arrived on time. We're also especially happy about the waivers you signed before arriving here." The voice sound rather cheery at that part. "As you already know, you will all take place in a tournament, the winner of such being at the center of rather beautiful female attention. The first elimination event will take place soon, but before we start in earnest, there is the simple matter of your numbers.
"You may have noticed that there are twelve of you. A standard tournament requires sixteen. And so, to keep numbers even as people get eliminated, two of you will have byes into the later rounds. Our first event will determine just who gets those byes." There is a pause. "Next time, get me the machiatto! Useless! Oh, am I still on? Where was I? Oh, yes. The first event. We are preparing the first event as we speak, so while that is going on, please feel free to order some lunch from the intern." The woman's voice takes on an ominous tone. "You must order something, but be careful what you choose."
The sound system makes the sound of some kind of rustling. "There, that should do it. Oh, I can hardly wait until these poor saps realize just what they've gotten themselves into!" The woman breaks into an evil cackling laugh. It's interrupted for a short moment. "Mm, that's a good mocha." She then returns to her evil cackle, which is cut short when the sound system turns off abruptly.
The intern at the door whips out a notepad and blankly stares at the men in the room. "So, what'll it be?"
"Well, you'll have plenty of time to live in a van down by the river, when you're living...in a van down by the river!" --Matt Foley, motivational speaker