Circe's Shop of Magical Wonders

[AmbushCat]

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POKEMON LEAGUE --- "Winners never quit, and quitters never win, but those who never quit and never win are idiots". How true that misshapen expression is can be left up to the reader, but the truth of what happened here yesterday is quite clear. After more than seven years of trying, dozens upon dozens of attempts and being treated as little more than a road bump in her opponent's life, Aldonza Caretti's faith in her team of choice was finally vindicated when she defeated Unova's Champion Circe 6-5.

Paramedics were rushed into the arena to resuscitate Caretti when she collapsed from asphyxiation following the announcement of her victory. Her trophy was presented to her at Vertress Hospital, where she happily accepted her long-sought prize.

"I'm drunk. I have to be," stated Elite Four member Calico Bridges. "The chances of her of all people beating Circe is... well, I don't know, but it's a huge number."

---STORY CONTINUED ON PAGE A4"

[Ookalf]

Seriously? To her? No way... *Circe flips to page 4A to continue reading...*

[AmbushCat]

---'STUPID', Continued From Page A1

However, according to Unova League rules, a challenger cannot claim the title of Champion if he/she has sustained a losing streak of four or more. Aldonza claims that at some point, it became less about actually becoming Champion and more about defeating Circe. "I went into my journey intent on beating Alder," she said. "When he relinquished his title, that only meant that I had a new goal to shoot for. I know I'll never be the Champion, but that didn't matter to me anymore. I just wanted to win, even if it was only once."

As for the battle itself, it was neck and neck the entire way. Whenever one of Circe's Pokémon claimed a victory, Aldonza's team would follow up with one of their own. When her Vileplume brought down Circe's Golurk for a temporary 5-4 advantage, those in the audience began to wonder whether or not the outcome might be different this time. Even the Elite Four's Caitlin, notorious for falling asleep on-camera whenever the two battled, was curious enough to stay awake. "Golurk had treated Vileplume in previous matches like its own personal Welcome mat," Caitlin said to reporters. "As soon as Vileplume won I could sense that the tides had turned, the fact that Serperior then took it out with a single strike notwithstanding."

Circe declined to answer questions following the match, saying that she needed to get her thoughts in order beforehand. The Champion is expected to make an official statement this coming Thursday.

When all is said and done, Aldonza Caretti will still have earned a spot in the Hall of Fame... for attaining the longest losing streak in recorded history during her quest for victory. Determined trainer, or determined idiot? You make the call.

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[Ookalf]

Huh. I guess perseverance does pay off... *Figuring none of the other articles will be relevant to her, Circe puts aside the newspaper and returns her focus to the shop.*