At what point do you become a loser?

[Mitera Nikkou]

I don't make good company. It's part of the reason for myself being a loser. ^_^;

[Cleio]

Do you know how many people who think they are losers also think they are bad company...No, really. I dont. But I dont think I make good company either. That cant stop me from smiling and enjoying the company of others.

It's not if your good or bad company. Its if people enjoy talking to you. I know I do...what little talking I do. (darn shyness)

[Coruscate]

Loser is subjective.

At some part of your mind, you have a definition of what life is about.

You may think low of the people who utterly fail to meet it, that's a loser.

Some people are so rich and popular that they think that people who are broke and unknown are losers.

Some people believe that people who have religion are losers.

I've been in the same boat you're in for the last few weeks, if you haven't noticed. It's perspective, you have to stop stabbing yourself in the back. That you even think you're a loser means that maybe, some part of your mind (your subconscious most likely) realizes there's soemthing you actually want, but you're not getting. Find it out what it is.

[Mitera Nikkou]

I already know what I'm lacking, and I can't get them. So, I'm a loser on many levels. I feel like I'd be in denial/delusional/lying to myself if I considered myself a winner, and I'm a realist... I guess. I change my mind so often about things, I don't really know my stance on things in general. X_X

[Chibi MitchellTF]

You are a loser when you stop trying. When you give up, that means you have lost.

Thomas Edison, who invented the light bulb, supposedly went through seven hundred to ten thousand failed versions, before he finally succeeded. Thus, his success rate is less than 1%! And you think less than 10% is a loser?

Albert Einstein flunked out of his german school, and had to work as a patent official before he ever managed to create his famous theory.

You are only a loser when you cease to try, though sometimes it is a good idea to try in a different way.

If you're going to insult yourself, at least try to figure out how to make those insults UNTRUE! If you are a loser, figure out why you think you are a loser, and change it. If it's because you don't have a girlfriend, talk to girls. If it's because you don't have a job, get a job. If it's because you don't have friends, then remember that you have us!

[Mitera Nikkou]

You are a loser when you stop trying. When you give up, that means you have lost.

Until success, no matter how many times I try, I consider myself a loser. No matter how many failures, once I succeed, I won't be a loser. Simple-minded reasoning, but it works. For me, anyway.

Thomas Edison, who invented the light bulb, supposedly went through seven hundred to ten thousand failed versions, before he finally succeeded. Thus, his success rate is less than 1%! And you think less than 10% is a loser?

Albert Einstein flunked out of his german school, and had to work as a patent official before he ever managed to create his famous theory.

They ended up succeeding, so they're not losers.

You are only a loser when you cease to try, though sometimes it is a good idea to try in a different way.

I don't really have many options in the way of trying something differently, insofar as never betraying my conscience and principals and all that.

If you're going to insult yourself, at least try to figure out how to make those insults UNTRUE! If you are a loser, figure out why you think you are a loser, and change it. If it's because you don't have a girlfriend, talk to girls. If it's because you don't have a job, get a job. If it's because you don't have friends, then remember that you have us!

If only it were that easy, or simple. (And, for the record, I know why I consider myself a loser.)

Girlfriend: I'm not interested in that kind of relationship, or even sexual relations. Same with boyfriends. And that's not even considering how I think that, short of pity (or if I happened to be rich), no one would be interested in me in that way.

Job: I've got no transportation, less than a high school education, no experience in anything, and jobs are very hard to find in this area. Also, my paranoia, shyness, and slight phobia of being around people makes it nigh impossible to do anything, or even function properly. I have a bad memory, no sense of time, and an utter lack of energy and concentration for much of anything. At best, I may be able to become an author of books, but I lack the grammar skills, and environmental experience/knowledge, to put much of anything together. Something that can be remedied, sure, but I just don't have the drive for it, or the focus. Oh, I've tried... But following through with something (most things) is not something that I'm good at, or really capable of being very succesful with. Back when I had become eighteen, straight away I wanted a job, wanted a life, and wanted to help the people that I lived with financially, too. (I tried vocational rehabilitation, job training for the physically or mentally impaired.) But I couldn't follow through, and I had to be re-evaluated by a shrink, wondering why I even bothered. Well, I already gave my reasons for why I tried.

Friends: This is a very complicated issue, and I doubt that anyone would understand. Everyone that I've ever had a chat with, about this, all say it's as easy as "being there." It's not. My parents were "around", but they didn't love me. My childhood friends had been "around", but it was for mutual entertainment, nothing more. My school district, back when I had first started high school, sent a social worker to spend time with me, but that was his job, and I knew that. Said social worker was probably three times my age... About the age of my parents, who weren't willing to do what was this man's job to do. In regard to MSF, it's not so much that I don't feel what I'm looking for in a friendship, but I'm just incapable of maintaining one, for many of the same reasons why I'm incapable of maintaining other things. Short of being age regressed and brainwashed (or something), I don't think I'll ever get anywhere in this area until, perhaps, my next life. Even if I'm an animal.

[Coruscate]

If you're going to insult yourself, at least try to figure out how to make those insults UNTRUE! If you are a loser, figure out why you think you are a loser, and change it. If it's because you don't have a girlfriend, talk to girls. If it's because you don't have a job, get a job. If it's because you don't have friends, then remember that you have us!

Someone needs to buy Satan some long johns, because Hell is freezing over once again!

I agree with Mitch.

Nikkou, Mitch has hit the nail on the head, 100%. All hail the wisdom of Mitch! Seriously, listen to what she's saying here. Work on bettering yourself. Afraid of work? Then do volunteer work. What? There aren't any charitable organizations nearby? I'm sure there is, even if they are Christian.

Last night I attended a perfomance of a group of about 10+ pagan singers, singing winter solstics songs, including a few semi-Christian ones inside a church run by the Unitarians. I've known of the Unitarians before, but this is the first time I've ever been inside one of their organizations, for me, personally, it wasn't my style. The songs were very Americanized, but you know what, at least they were very sincere. If you can't get a job, do some volunteer work for a while. If you don't like their religion, if it's a religious organization, just ask that you not be sermonized while you do your work. Perhaps, if they are a truly universal orgnization, they won't sermonize you and will help you do your work. This way you can do what you truly love, help people, and can learn to be out in public and overcome your fears of it.

You are one of my most sincere friends on the net, so if you ever need help PM me and as soon as I can, even if I lose an hour of sleep, I'll try and help you out? Okay?

Take care,
Coru

[Mitera Nikkou]

I'm listening, but it doesn't really apply to me. If you listened to me, you'd know that. It might have struck a nail on the head, but not into my board.

For one, I'm not afraid of work. I just have problems focusing, having the will to do something, and a lot of the potential that I do have for anything is consumed by my worrying over doing something right. And this is increased manyfold if it involves other people, especially people I'm not familiar with. Money involvement or not in work, I'm very limited in what I can do, and I know this because I have tried and seen my limits. Many times, even after I'm sure.

Also, I'm very sincere to myself as well. I won't deny that it's a big part of my problem as well, as far as my mindset goes. But, I feel that being untrue to myself is worse than not being myself. It's not about acceptance of reality... I simply have an identity and an existence, and that's pretty much all that I have going for me. I don't want to ruin that.

[Cleio]

I'm not sure I can say anything to help right now. Except that if you ever feel like you need help from a veteran loser that I'm here. Yeah, I know it's not really much, but sometimes hurling frustrations at someone helps out a little. It's...uh...kind of like a nicotine patch for sucking eggs.

Well, I can also give you an abstract internet smile and tell you that I hope you get to feeling better.

[Mitera Nikkou]

You're no veteran loser. I just know it!

My gut is rarely wrong.

[Cleio]

YAY! We have a loop, you dont think I'm a loser and I dont think you're a loser.

Hurray for loops, huh?

[Mitera Nikkou]

Now, if I only had some Fruit Loops... Then we could celebrate properly!

[Cleio]

OOOOOOOOOOO <----- abstract fruit loops for the Nikkou!

[Mitera Nikkou]

Those are stale cheerios. ;:O

[Cleio]

Beh, I knew I should'nt try to summon food...never works right. Just not cut out to be a summoner.

00000000<----- 2nd attempt of summoning the Fruit Loops

It was worth a try.