The Weather
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 7:44 am
It occured to me that this discussion room was sorely lacking the most ephemeral and oft recurring of conversational topics. Namely the weather, of course, for by name of topic the topic's named.
The weather where I live is miserable today. Yesterday it snowed. Snowed I say! Little white fluffy things that were several months late, for winter was several months ago - I blame daylight savings time for the egregious offset. Global warming my foot! If this is the best it can muster than I shall be looking into forthwith purchasing a demi score of SUVs to nudge things along.
Then, upon quailling in dispair and retiring to my bedchambers, my restive rest was smashed asunder. By nothing less than mighty bellows of thundrous thunder! It did persist in failing to desist until my wits were in pits due to the noisy fits the weather did insist upon to plunder my slumber.
As if all that were not enough, when I finally had to crawl out of the security of mine home, 'twas freezing rain that greeting me upon the doorstep! Pounding down amidst the whipping wind, the path I trod was ice, coated thick all down the steep incline. I slid haphazard, half hazards flying past me as I flew accross intersections and lept over small animals barring my path. Of course of small animals stupid enough to be out in this dreadful crime against tourism there were none, so those were the half hazards I avoided. The cars, however, incurred a few chance collisions, but as I was going quite fast the duration of those impacts was minimal and the damage disregarded.
You may think that to be all fine and dandy, but soon at the bottom of one hill I was faced with the task of climbing the next. An impossible task to ascend this barrier. So there I stood, thought and pondered what to do. Then it came to me, in a heart attack of genius that could visit no other. The air being filled with water as it were, I need only swim to reach my destination. So swim I did, arms flailing, gasping for air between strokes, and making my way ever upwards. A few passersby in automobiles thought that I was insane, but since I thought they were fish the misunderstanding was forgiven.
Finally, I did arrive unto this chair to impart to ye the veracity that encompassed me when I deigned to see how the weather be. A tale spun true, and now I must ask you: How's the weather?
Tea or crumpets, anyone?
The weather where I live is miserable today. Yesterday it snowed. Snowed I say! Little white fluffy things that were several months late, for winter was several months ago - I blame daylight savings time for the egregious offset. Global warming my foot! If this is the best it can muster than I shall be looking into forthwith purchasing a demi score of SUVs to nudge things along.
Then, upon quailling in dispair and retiring to my bedchambers, my restive rest was smashed asunder. By nothing less than mighty bellows of thundrous thunder! It did persist in failing to desist until my wits were in pits due to the noisy fits the weather did insist upon to plunder my slumber.
As if all that were not enough, when I finally had to crawl out of the security of mine home, 'twas freezing rain that greeting me upon the doorstep! Pounding down amidst the whipping wind, the path I trod was ice, coated thick all down the steep incline. I slid haphazard, half hazards flying past me as I flew accross intersections and lept over small animals barring my path. Of course of small animals stupid enough to be out in this dreadful crime against tourism there were none, so those were the half hazards I avoided. The cars, however, incurred a few chance collisions, but as I was going quite fast the duration of those impacts was minimal and the damage disregarded.
You may think that to be all fine and dandy, but soon at the bottom of one hill I was faced with the task of climbing the next. An impossible task to ascend this barrier. So there I stood, thought and pondered what to do. Then it came to me, in a heart attack of genius that could visit no other. The air being filled with water as it were, I need only swim to reach my destination. So swim I did, arms flailing, gasping for air between strokes, and making my way ever upwards. A few passersby in automobiles thought that I was insane, but since I thought they were fish the misunderstanding was forgiven.
Finally, I did arrive unto this chair to impart to ye the veracity that encompassed me when I deigned to see how the weather be. A tale spun true, and now I must ask you: How's the weather?
Tea or crumpets, anyone?