I'm torn...

[Stellar]

Uhm... Let's see how to elaborate without being too confusing

Kathy started working at my Taco Bell probly 6 weeks ago, maybe 7. She's cute, athletic, and is turning 18 on monday. I had a suppressed crush on her the first few weeks of working with her. But it's grown. I like her. We talk alot, for as much as I can manage to conversate, and she's randomly given me rides home a few times. If I were more of a normal guy, I'd just ask her what she thinks of me then tell her what my thoughts of her are-

But, i'm not. My head screams logic, saying she's likely straight, wants a family one day, and would just generally think i'm weird. I told myself I'd put off feelings until I was female to the world so I wouldn't have to go through this. But I can't help it. The last person to make me feel this way was Jane. This time around i can manage to keep myself from doing drastic things, but that's if there even is a 'this time around'.

Any advice? I can't come up with any reasonable way to do this besides trying to meet her outside work and talking to her. But even then, i'd have to tell her before hand what to expect when she sees me outside of work, cause I think it's just a courteous thing to do as a transgendered individual. That alone could blow things up before getting anywhere though.

Have I rambled enough? Was it coherent? I use to say I'm only male at work; now I considder myself not quite either gender at work. That has to account for something if Kathy talks to me in a flirty way, don't you think?

[Coruscate]

I disbelieve pre determined sexuality for the same reason I reject racism.

There are no black souls and white souls.

No girl souls and no boy souls.

Souls are souls, you are you.

The secret of life is that you are here to create your experience here, so hop to it. Create your experience.

I'm here by choice, not by pre determination, I believe that's the healthiest attitude. So what do you want to be? Choose. You can't have both in the long run, so don't play both now.

Don't be afraid to do what is "socially unacceptable" unless you are willing to realize people will dislike you for that, even potential loves.

I tried playing a situation having it both ways and everyone got hurt, don't make my mistake.

Anything you want for you is what is right for you, but life will always challenge you with choices now and then that are either or, this is one.

Don't lost this moment, think your decision through clearly, execute it, embrace it and don't regret your choice.

--------

Okay, motivation poster stuff aside: Are you sure you want to do this? This could get around quickly and you could just be setting yourself up for a world of emotional hurt.

[Stellar]

Why can't I have both in the long run? I don't think this is an 'either or' situation until i know what Kathy's preference is and what she might think of my transgendered situation. And if she isn't bi, or thinks my gender dysphoria is too strange to get involved with then that wont change what i've been working twards for years now. She's really nice, so even if that goes astray i'm sure we'd beable to be friends.

But you asked the right question at the end. I don't know if i want to go through with this. One way or another she'll find out that i'm transgendered because I let all of the people i considder friends know. Or the one's that i see outside of work, and she's suggested outtings with me, so like i said, she'll find out one way or another despite me telling her that I like her.

And nothing hurts anymore =p especially when it's about my gender dysphoria, or relationship things. Jane bore a whole in my heart thankfully from our break up XD

[Mitera Nikkou]

Well, if you even think there's a possibility that you'll try to take steps further along in the relationship, I really do think that, even if for just a friend, that she should know more about you, if you know what I mean. Either way you may win or lose a friend or a lover, depending on when and how you do it. If you think that she's open-minded enough to accept you, then get on with telling her. If you're not quite sure about what she would think, telling her sooner than later is probably for the best, at least if you ever think there's a possibility that you'll show deeper feelings for her later. Telling someone late can really trip them up and set things back or, at worst, cause damage that never goes away; and you want to avoid the latter.

But I'm a hermit, so disregard everything that I say. XD;;

[Rowan]

You could try bringing up the subject as an aside thing and try and gauge her feelings on the general subject before abring your soul to her.

[Coruscate]

That can work, just find a topic TG related you can bring up without sounding gross.

Like Ranma 1/2?

[Stellar]

Seee..... I dispise Ranma 1/2.

And i doubt she's much of an anime addict.

I dunno. One way or another something will happen, even if it's nothing, because nothing is something.

[SDHero]

You might consider introducing her to the TG aspect of yourself -before- you ask her out or tell her you're interested, 'ya know?

If she can't deal with that, then there's no chance of anything else, right?

[Tiaiel]

Well... Life is hard becouse the rules are easy.
Lies aren't good, but you just don't come out to anyone.
I would lead her step by step to my true self, but let her time to understand. When she accepts you, then you both should talk about the next step.
As I said, the things that sound easy may be the hardest to do.