by May-chan » Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:11 pm
okay, I am just overloaded with anxiety and frustration right now... both because of my usual issues being forced to live in Indiana... and because the stupid endocrinologist here screwed up my prescription and I am PMSing like you wouldn't believe...
...please don't think of me as hateful, it's just the lack of 'mones talking... and if you are from Indiana and have any pride in it I'd recommend not reading this because it will probably offend you...
Okay where to begin... well... the same old stuff I've mentioned in the past... I am being forced to live here by my mother, my house is smelly and ugly and so is the rest of this God forsaken area... mom's husband is just so irksome to both me and my sister... and yet I am forced to be grateful to him since he pays the bills...
This place is overrun with hicks... mullets, flannel, southern accents are all plentiful... Fat, loud, drunk, stupid, bombastic, careless, philistine, tasteless, clueless all describe the average Indianan... or as they prefer to be called "hoosiers"... I personally think "hoosier" is the most abominable word in the English language... every time I hear someone speak it I want to slap them with the nearest blunt and/or sharp object. They are all so proud of it though... I think of it as a slur... it is like being proud of being called "dumb#$&@!!!".
My mom thinks these people are the nicest on earth... and that they are "real" and "genuine"... all my sister and I have seen are jerks and clueless fools... of course they are real... they are like animals... they eat, the defecate, they do simple tasks, and they sleep... they lack the capacity for any higher thought... A bunch of drunken idiots who love fooootball durrrrrr.
ugh, that reminds me. What a bunch of drunks... I've never before seen people with shopping carts full of beer... beer n' guns n' driving drunk... woo!
Then again the average Indianan drives worse than a drunk anyways... here is a guide to HOW TO DRIVE LIKE YOU ARE FROM INDIANA.
- NEVER stop at stop signs
- Pedestrians NEVER have the right of way
- NEVER EVER use a turn signal for any reason
- Red lights count as yellow for the first ten seconds
- Weave... a lot
- Attempt to drive 40 above the limit when someone is in front of you
- Drive 20 below the limit when someone is behind you
- Make sudden stops
- Swing wide into the outside lane on left turns
- Don't use your lights in rain/snow/fog/twilight
- Rev your engine and scratch your genitals
- Shoulders and turn lanes should be used to pass
- Five drink minimum
- Don't mind emissions and noise pollution laws
- Make arbitrary U-turns
and I only WISH I was making that stuff up... ugh... it is dangerous out there, it is already bad enough the roads are TERRIBLY designed with no turn lanes or random turn lanes. And then of course everyone drives huge trucks with redneck bumper stickers worth more than their homes! If you have "Git R Done" on your car or have ever been amused by the phrase please do us all a favor and drink some chlorine... though I suppose if you are amused by "Git R Done" your mother was probably drinking chlorine when she slept with her brother... Ugh... and don't get me started on NASCAR! I am so sick of NASCAR @#%@ everywhere... the most audacious thing I've seen thus far would have to be portraits of drivers as saints... ugh!
Then there are tons of confederate flags... seriously... why is flag burning scorned while confederate flags are loved? If you have a confederate flag... do the world a favor and move down to Alabama with the rest of your KKK bretheren and by all means... break off from the union and form your own nation of dumb$%@#sylvania!
and where do these people get all their confederate flags and NASCAR swag? At the gross pawn shops and mom n' pop resale stores... they all have really inappropriate names like "Upscale Resale" ... wow... I never knew soiled mattresses were "upscale"... They are always next to gun shops... like The Hole in The Wall... which has signage like a five-year-old would make with an upside-down G and backwards N...
But of course there are about 2 bookstores in the entire state... not to mention the puny library is full of nothing but War + Westerns (I am not making this up once again...).
Ugh, going off in another direction... my mom insists it is cheaper to shop here... What the??? No it is not cheaper here than in Illinois... because to get to the store you have to drive half-an-hour... then once there the prices are the same price as in Chicago... the big difference is the Martin's Discount Card saves you $0.30 whereas the Jewel Preferred Card in Chicago would have saved you $9.00... Plus the stores here have a piddly selection and a terrible maze-like layout...
and on the subject of money... why are all the neighborhoods and towns full of rusty fences, peeling paint, crumbling cinder blocks, faded signs, plastic deer, and other crap? I know these people CAN afford to keep their property in good condition... they just piss all their money away on their behemoth chromed SUVS and trucks that get 1 mile to the gallon...
Blahhhh! A total lack of decent parks, nothing cultural (except for run down local museums about the RV industry through the ages)...
Ugly industry!
Trailer parks and prefab houses!
Super conservative idiots who write in to the paper to tell everyone that the antichrist is coming!
Christmas decorations that never get taken down!
ARG! Get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out of this place! WHY? WHY?! is my mother still trying to convince me to live here and go to a the crummy little dump of a college they have!?! I loathe this place! Get me away from this place and all of the rotten apes that live here! Get me out before they give me the madatory "Hoosier" lobotomy!
Last edited by
May-chan on Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.