Behold: The Cosmic Plushie Forge!
Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 2:40 amI've had a lot of characters in my day.
For a while I did the whole God-modding thing, WAY back when. Called myself the Lord of Chaos and just said "Ha! My insane dark power ball of Doom is bigger than yours!"
"Is not!"
"Is so!"
(Continued for about twenty posts)
It wasn't long before I came to realize that having an avatar that rips **** up with ease just isn't that special.
Still, it was traditional, so I eventually moved to the "evil overlord" type avatars, coming upon and discarding both Sith Lord BD and Space Marine BD, which came with their own armies. Armies were neat, because you could make jokes about them by putting space marines in gangster outfits and talking about how cheap and flimsy TIE fighters are.
Through this, I eventually came to a realization: personal power isn't what makes a good avatar. Any sap can call themselves a saiyan and start screaming for six posts while the Observer avatars watch from a distance and munch popcorn (am I the only one who doesn't find popcorn inherently amusing anymore? And then it attracts other Observers who post just to let people know that they're sharing it. Ugh).
Humor potential is what makes a good spammer. So I needed an avatar with humor potential.
Jester and Stag had it good; they were based on inherently hilarious characters with poorly defined personal goals. But mimicking an anime character just wasn't my thing; I've always got to be Black Dragon (that's my nickname!). I've always got to be the original guy. But it suddenly struck me that having a character with an ill-defined identity leads to boring explanations about your avatar's powers when your avatar could be making knock-knock jokes or ejecting Stag into space.
That's when it struck me: Jester's Darkrune sword.
In another thread where I was still alive, I gave the subject more thought, and I finally had it: powers are overrated. Everybody has them; what's so special about being able to turn into water or Gate into a thread randomly or cast Ice 9? Among avatars, the unique ones are the fellows who quake in fear at the abundant threats to their lives and bleed when people cut them.
But you can't be powerless. It's just not done. Besides, I've always liked the power element. The trick was in finding a source of power that would allow my avatar to be presented as a normal human while at the same time have endless gag potential.
That's when it hit me.
After being killed by Stag this time, I thought about the subject some more in Hell, and came to an epiphany.
Plush dolls.
Everybody likes plushies. Guys, girls, non-geeks... well, maybe not jocks, but they suck. More to the point, you can make a plushie version of anything, from Lina Inverse to a dump truck, and it will be soft, pliable, and fully capable of articulated movement if animate.
And thus was born the Cosmic Plushie Forge.
Nobody has the ability to dispense the entiredy of the infinite aniverse at their feet at will. Some people wouldn't see the point.
Infinite anime characters means infinite gag potential and, when the need arises, quite a list of options for avatar battles. Add fanfic characters to that list, and suddenly you have inside jokes everywhere. Add political figureheads to the mix and... well, I originally did that to taunt Kid, but I don't think he noticed. Jester may have scared him off with his Texan awesomeness. Wouldn't be the first time.
Of course, I could just make a Belldandy or Cthulu or Goku plushie around, but that would hardly be any different than God-modding, and kill the joke potential. Nothing is more important to the Spammer than humor.
I am Black Dragon (A.K.A. Fool), plushie master. All shall quake in terror before my minions' squad, soft bodies and adorable button eyes.
Just don't hurt me; I'm a bleeder.
For a while I did the whole God-modding thing, WAY back when. Called myself the Lord of Chaos and just said "Ha! My insane dark power ball of Doom is bigger than yours!"
"Is not!"
"Is so!"
(Continued for about twenty posts)
It wasn't long before I came to realize that having an avatar that rips **** up with ease just isn't that special.
Still, it was traditional, so I eventually moved to the "evil overlord" type avatars, coming upon and discarding both Sith Lord BD and Space Marine BD, which came with their own armies. Armies were neat, because you could make jokes about them by putting space marines in gangster outfits and talking about how cheap and flimsy TIE fighters are.
Through this, I eventually came to a realization: personal power isn't what makes a good avatar. Any sap can call themselves a saiyan and start screaming for six posts while the Observer avatars watch from a distance and munch popcorn (am I the only one who doesn't find popcorn inherently amusing anymore? And then it attracts other Observers who post just to let people know that they're sharing it. Ugh).
Humor potential is what makes a good spammer. So I needed an avatar with humor potential.
Jester and Stag had it good; they were based on inherently hilarious characters with poorly defined personal goals. But mimicking an anime character just wasn't my thing; I've always got to be Black Dragon (that's my nickname!). I've always got to be the original guy. But it suddenly struck me that having a character with an ill-defined identity leads to boring explanations about your avatar's powers when your avatar could be making knock-knock jokes or ejecting Stag into space.
That's when it struck me: Jester's Darkrune sword.
In another thread where I was still alive, I gave the subject more thought, and I finally had it: powers are overrated. Everybody has them; what's so special about being able to turn into water or Gate into a thread randomly or cast Ice 9? Among avatars, the unique ones are the fellows who quake in fear at the abundant threats to their lives and bleed when people cut them.
But you can't be powerless. It's just not done. Besides, I've always liked the power element. The trick was in finding a source of power that would allow my avatar to be presented as a normal human while at the same time have endless gag potential.
That's when it hit me.
After being killed by Stag this time, I thought about the subject some more in Hell, and came to an epiphany.
Plush dolls.
Everybody likes plushies. Guys, girls, non-geeks... well, maybe not jocks, but they suck. More to the point, you can make a plushie version of anything, from Lina Inverse to a dump truck, and it will be soft, pliable, and fully capable of articulated movement if animate.
And thus was born the Cosmic Plushie Forge.
Nobody has the ability to dispense the entiredy of the infinite aniverse at their feet at will. Some people wouldn't see the point.
Infinite anime characters means infinite gag potential and, when the need arises, quite a list of options for avatar battles. Add fanfic characters to that list, and suddenly you have inside jokes everywhere. Add political figureheads to the mix and... well, I originally did that to taunt Kid, but I don't think he noticed. Jester may have scared him off with his Texan awesomeness. Wouldn't be the first time.
Of course, I could just make a Belldandy or Cthulu or Goku plushie around, but that would hardly be any different than God-modding, and kill the joke potential. Nothing is more important to the Spammer than humor.
I am Black Dragon (A.K.A. Fool), plushie master. All shall quake in terror before my minions' squad, soft bodies and adorable button eyes.
Just don't hurt me; I'm a bleeder.