Was Jesus a witch?

[Lanzerus]

*re-errects a cross with a stuffed jesus.*

he...she...they are a witch burn them, BURN THEM!!!!

[Mitera Nikkou]

Now we just need someone to make the claim that Jesus turned them into a newt... but got better.

[Mendi-chan]

A witch is lighter than water. Jesus was able to walk on water. Ergo, he's a witch!

But all/most humans are less dense than water anyway. XD

[Mitera Nikkou]

Not exactly. Technically, just barely. Often enough all it takes is an exhalation of air to tip the scale against someone who wants to stay above water; that's one of the reasons why people still drown, if they don't know how to swim. (Learning how to swim properly should also include breathing techniques, if I'm not mistaken.) There's also the ratio of muscle and fat that can make the difference, since fat is less dense than water while muscle is not (if I remember correctly). And then it also depends on whether you're in fresh water or salt water.

Jesus, Hell... If we tried to stand erect, we'd probably have a problem keeping our head above water without using our limbs. His feet didn't even sink, he's so light. He's closer to floating like wood and a duck than we are, so... Witch! Witch, I decry! XD

[Sophia Anieri]

I'm boycotting the poll, because I'm sick of voting for the lesser of two evils, and all of the poll choices are false.

[Mitera Nikkou]

They're not all false, you dingbat. Which parts of "sure" and "nuuuu" don't you understand?

The question is: was Jesus a witch? The first option answers "yes", the second "no", and the third... Well, whatever's left. I know what option you should choose in my most recent poll. ;/

[Sophia Anieri]

Um, that's not what the poll choices say though. I'd have thought you'd know that, having written them.

[Mitera Nikkou]

What? The stuff after it? Those are just add-ons. Everyone should know how I operate by now, to know that I put the definite answer followed by a possible reason. It'd be stupid to do otherwise with only two specific answers. For instance, the stuff that follows the oversimplification and overcomplication choices in their respective poll are just examples of said choices.

Now, again... Pay attention! *Puts a dunce cap on your head and sends you into the corner to sit on a stool*

[Sophia Anieri]

So I should know by now that you don't mean what you say you mean? That helps, thanks! *uses dunce cap to demonstrate conic sections in math tutoring*

[Mitera Nikkou]

Oh, a battle of semantics, is it? I'll have you know that I have a colored belt in semantics.

[Kether]

He was a vampire Hunter