Magical Sailor Fuku

by **Arkain** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:59 pm

First of all, I have to hand it to you, I liked the characters. They played their roles believably, which can be difficult to find in this branch of fiction. ;D

Flowed well, despite a slightly sloppy use of punctuation.

Plotwise, nothing to jump up and down a bit, but it'll be interesting I hope. Although I've never been fond of things like making the demons good or eliminating the Dark Side or stuff like that.

by **Beyond** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:59 pm

Clueless Beyond request the link to the story.

by **Kara-chan** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:27 pm

Clueless Beyond gets link to said story from author of said story

http://www.magicalsailorfuku.net/Storie ... pter_1.htm

http://www.magicalsailorfuku.net/Storie ... pter_2.htm

by **Lia_** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:18 am

Lol. That is a pretty good story. Not the most erotic one, but well thought out.

by **Kara-chan** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 2:20 am

erm...thanks but...um...erotic???

by **Arkain** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 4:23 pm

Lia, I consider that a point in its favor. ;D

Course, if your reason for reading TG fiction is that, welllll...

by **Anamnesis** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 4:27 pm

I like the story, I think that stuff is like that, anyway.
IF stuff like that exists.
I like it^^ I'm really looking forward to the next chapters.

by **Lia_** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:03 pm

Well, I've read other stories that were much more "erotic" or have a more sexier theme to it. Erotic was the wrong word to use I guess.. :lol:

I am still looking foward to the next chapter.

by **Chibi MitchellTF** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:20 pm

Hm...I'm definitely not a fan of the 'good demon' thing, especially the portrayal of Hell. Comparing it to Dante, and having it be very different from Dante, was a bad idea. Then going on a tour of Hell, as a bit of the main 'action' in the first chapter...this ain't Dante, but on the other hand, it doesn't have to be.

Other than the big "Dante" portion just not having good enough descriptions, or being as clever and original as Dante, it's pretty good. Second Chapter especially, since it goes a bit away from the philospophical element, and into the characters.

The thing with Satan didn't quite read right, but was a okay gag.

Other than that, I like the characters. Kara is a bit flat, sorta like a lot of 'average main star' characters. Adriana is interesting, and reminds me of Etna from Disgaea. Doesn't have Etna's depth, though.

All in all, this isn't Shakespeare, or Dante, or Disgaea, or Firefly, but it is a very good 'above average' work that I'll be following. It's still in the exposition + setting phase right now, but it's definitely on my save list.

Note: A few minor grammer errors.

by **Arkain** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:51 pm

Adriana herself is quite a bit more interesting than most of the rest, indeed.

Yes, more descriptions would be cool. Not to mention more...impactful ones. Hell is really rather...unimpressive here.

by **Kara-chan** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:11 pm

I do agree with that...to reveal a little secret, I wrote the first chapter a long time ago and was too lazy to revise it...I'll be making a second edition later...with more violence, description, and generally interestingness...

by **Arkain** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 5:54 pm

Ooo, neat.

Now someone go take me up on the Cold thing! ;D

by **Chibi MitchellTF** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:37 pm

*nods* I myself have a fanfic with a long break between chapters.

by **Kara-chan** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:57 pm

Ah! For anyone that wanted to know, in the most recent update chapters 3, 4, and 5 were written and posted

by **Kara-chan** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 7:02 pm

Also, linkies to the new chapters ^^

http://www.magicalsailorfuku.net/Storie ... Kara-chan/

Magical Sailor Fuku

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