Mecchen House - Complete First Book Online

[Cutey Kerina]

Thanks ^^ It's all done, including a last line that thwarted me for a good while. Keep in mind this draft is still a first draft and will be subject to change. For now though, I have a complete story which I have expressed.

[Cutey Kerina]

All parts are posted. Enjoy it in its entirety.

[Helel]

Me am finished.

I started reading this only last week, after much delay.

So here's a message to those of you that may have reservations about reading this story.

It is awesome. If you like rollarcoasters, it's like a rollarcoaster ride, and is loads of fun.

If you don't like rollarcoasters, then don't think of it like that. It's simply a really good story.

Read it and love it, peoples.

And congrats to Kerina on her IMMENSE accomplishment with this story.

[Ell]

Interesting. A little offbeat, and your characters are very well developed. Aside from a few lines of stiff dialogue and the occasional typo, the whole thing flowed excellently.

I do have one gripe, though: There wasn't really any sense of resolution at the end, like you just decided to stop most of the way.

[Ninian]

I played a major role in helping Kerina write this story, as might be evident past a certain point.

The ending was difficult to say the least. When Kerina showed me her first draft of it, it was the first and only time I told her that she needed a do-over for the whole chapter. One of the problems was that the beginning of the story set up a premise that would multiply in scope and quality halfway to 2/3rds through, so the planned resolution to the original and more simple story would have been seriously insufficient. Kerina also surprised me with the claim that she planned at least two more books after this one. The overall goal of the ending then would be to try and wrap up the story that had been presented while still setting up the premise for future stories.

I'd also say one of Kerina's weaknesses with writing in general is writing satisfying conclusions -- note the number of chapters in Mecchen House that are just outright cliffhangers. The ending to the book itself is rather abrupt and jarring too. This can all be sorted out on a rewrite though.

Kerina's sudden proliferation with captions and the end of Mecchen House is no accident -- they seem not only a nice break from the intense brainstorming and writing she's been doing, but I think she might even be using them to practice conciseness and writing endings. Her post-Mecchen captions however are just incredible, though, and we've been blessed to see them almost every night. I think having showed her some of Lucky's might have sparked it a bit.


Some spoilers below:
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Interesting bit of trivia that also contributes to how lopsided/strange Mecchen House is. Kerina originally decided it'd be based on the Aeternalae in some way, but I turned it down. Not because I was protecting the meme, far from it -- I was disillusioned with the whole Aeternalae thing and didn't want Kerina to defile her story with what I felt was an inferior concept. However, as Mecchen House ran, I began to feel the spark come back and by the first half I revoked the decision and told Kerina she was welcome to use the Aeternalae universe because her ability to do it justice was far greater than the weight of the complete mess I made of it in years prior. Kerina realized something I didn't about writing, and I learned a lot from her just watching this story come to fruition. Her ideas revitalized a lot of my own faith especially. As far as "continuity" goes, I consider Mecchen House to be the first real Aeternalae universe story (though this doesn't mean stuff other people had written are invalid, more on that in a separate topic I'll write another time).

The best part is, it's an awesome story all on its own. It doesn't need a universe to make it awesome. One of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had in the last five years I feel was the point where I became Kerina's copilot proper. She'd expose me to ways of characterization (easily my weakness) and originality that I never really developed, and I helped her with presentation, balance, and some of the finer tuning that makes a story readable or epic in feeling. She also did all the real hard work.

I learned something valuable after all was said and done: from the outset I shouldn't have focused on making a good Aeternalae story, but a good story period that happened to feature Aeternalae as set pieces rather than the whole point of the story. What I wrote before didn't suck because the concept sucked, but because I was writing it like a porn fanfiction. Kerina opened my eyes and made me realize my potential, and I love her in every sense of the word.

[Loremistress Eirien]

I'd also say one of Kerina's weaknesses with writing in general is writing satisfying conclusions -- note the number of chapters in Mecchen House that are just outright cliffhangers. The ending to the book itself is rather abrupt and jarring too. This can all be sorted out on a rewrite though.

Kerina's sudden proliferation with captions and the end of Mecchen House is no accident -- they seem not only a nice break from the intense brainstorming and writing she's been doing, but I think she might even be using them to practice conciseness and writing endings. Her post-Mecchen captions however are just incredible, though, and we've been blessed to see them almost every night. I think having showed her some of Lucky's might have sparked it a bit.

I don't know well enough to outright contradict you, but I don't think cliffhangers are a bad thing. They encourage the person to keep reading in many ways. A chapter that ends without anything leading into the next won't keep the reader reading. The last couple of chapters (5 or 6 of them) succeeded in doing that for me though, whatever that might mean for writing endings.

[Cutey Kerina]

As a last gesture, before I get socked by work. I have written what I had in mind for the prologue to Mecchen House 2. The 2nd part is only partially-written.

It's linked back at the beginning. Enjoy!

[Lanzerus]

i am only on chapter 15, but the amount of cliffhangers and possibilities for an ending keeps pushing me forward.

i hope if at the end there is a squel or prequel, or anything like that i HOPE you put it up as quick as possible, because you are, a phenominal writer!

[Queen Octavia]

Finished reading the story - now quick, get me some memory loss pills so I can experience reading it again!

There were many wonderful things about the story I could jabber on about for some time, but to me the best part were the characters. I'm sure we all had our personal favourites, but the antics of Katsumi and Sumi amused me to no end, and I was very drawn in by Nana's mystic allure. If I had to choose only one as my uppermost favourite favourite of them all (Because they were all my favourites ), it would likely be Shiori. The depth her character possessed, when considering she was only "in the margins", was astounding.

The way the story flowed as a mystery centered around Kelly's observant almost detective-like personality worked beautifully. Combined with the lovely imagery if the anime world, it really drew me into the story and made me feel that I was living in Mecchen house as well (I wish ) !

While the story may have reached its end, the vivid characters and their lifelike world persist in my mind. I imagine so many things to come (In particular some delicious awkwardness with a certain busty blonde & a certain police officer ).

Watching every stage of the main character's tranformation was a conflicting experience, I found myself feeling empathy for their plight alongside a ravenous anticipation for the next change to strike.

As great as the earlier chapters were, my favourite was the big confrontation between Kelly/Arisa & the nameless black toothy monster. All the tension and mystery really made it an exciting fight!

Well, I'll stop my random ramblings and add only this:

Thank you very much for writing such an excellent story! Your hard work boggles the mind, but I for one greatly appreciate what you have so generously given.

[Cutey Kerina]

^^ Thank you very much for your feedback.