Reborn

[Elizabeth Akane]

"You gotta be kidding me, mom. No way I am using that...horrible...silly...childish outfit". 
If fire could be born from my finger, the school uniform resting on the bed would turn to ashes faster than you can say...what was that word again? Su..sufuku? Whatever.
"Seriously, look at the collar. Hello? Where is the boat? Then, the skirt; pleated. Really, And...above all, the ribbon on the front? It is obviously needed for..." the long pause and the rolling hands indicating for her to finish the phrase, but the girl found only the smile of her mother as sole response.

"Mom, are you even listening to me here? Or did you forget English so soon? It has been only a week for goodness sake!" 

With a voice filled with love, my mother placed her hand on my shoulder, which is covered with my black t-shirt.  "Akane"


I hate that name.


I •hate• that name....



Shivers travel under my skin when I am called..that. Don't ask me why. It •just• happens. Why can't people just call me by my other name? Elizabeth is a very beautiful name and almost all my friends call me that! 

...but not mom and dad.

Sure, dad is Japanese, and you can bet your panties I inhereted all the looks. I am not complaining!

"...please" I tell her. 
"you know I hate that name..."


Her long pause tells me nothing.
...and tells me everything.

Sometimes she is even more Japanese than dad, and she is not!

"my daughter, my dear daughter" Her voice is soothing, her blonde locks cover my head as she hugs me close. Her warmth is my sole refuge in this lonely, lonely world. Someone begins sobbing, then crying. 

Ah...it is me.


"Why mom? Why?" 


"...why?"

No need to try when there is simply no answer.

"The hollowness again?"

"Not ~again~, more like... Ah it's all the same I guess, just...you know" I smile, nestled in her arms. A sad smile. A sweet and sour smile. But a smile.

((will continue))

[Elizabeth Akane]

In fact, they make a funny couple as mother and daughter. Funny as in odd. She is american, tall, blonde. An essy going person that travels in the path of life with her goals set very, very high: she aims for love, and she found it in an art expo back in her natal California. She is, and never hides it, the very image of an American woman. Self confident, easy for the smile, finds friends everywhere; life just seems to work for her in the right way. Just as if it was one of her love story books, of which she has written many. 

That's how she met Takumi, her husband.

And that's why Akane is, well, ...Akane! The petite girl with black hair and eyes that has nothing in common with her mother, save the gender. 

Well, Elizabeth, Akane, ...whatever. It was her husband's idea to give the child those two names. Some story about his late sister, but that is something none of the Naome speak much. She was instantly fond of the name. Too bad their only daughter seemed to hate it with all her might! Funny...but it has been the same all her life!

"really sweety, it is a puzzle to me why you feel that way. We sure have tried for you to lead a happy life, but...
Well... Nothing.

So, we have decided to allow you to find your own way, your own path. And this doesn't mean we do not love you, it means we respect you. Do you understand me?" She didn't let go of her.

And now, your granny is needing your dad's help, and we are NOT being an obstacle for him. This •must• be clear, dear. Interesting how her mother is. At times she acts as silly and simple, at times she is understanding the deepest secrets if the soul. Elizabeth admires her, honestly.

"And Sapporo is cute, isn't it? Were not you born here? Where were you born anyway?" 

Elizabeth giggled amused, "you...REALLY don't remember, do you?"

"I can't believe it..." She laughed, sheltered in her mother's arms.

"well, you know your dad, he spends more time now presenting his paintings than thinking about settling on a country, and me...I can write my novels anywhere in the world." She kissed her daughter's head tenderly.

"And school sucks anywhere in the world, doesn't it?"

Ah! Her mother, is unbeatably happy... 

"...but all my friends"


"Er...who?"

Simple words, that reach deep. In truth Elizabeth had none. Never had. Mostly a lonely girl with a sad smile.

"and you know Aoi loves you so much.."
"Yes...granny is awesome, this is true" she agreed finally!

"but I have read that Sapporo is so cold in the winter, and...look at the school skirt! I am sure to catch a cold and...

...and I don't understand a word they say in here...

...I bet they are all laughing at me"


I shake my head and impersonate an anonymous student. "yeah yeah, the japanese girl that can't speak japanese...and is not even japanese."



"...I was born in Mexico, just so you remember, mom. You told me so at least! How...how could I know? My papers are from England!"

Her mind switched gears now. She was born in Mexico, had birth certificate from England, and had all the phenotype of a japanese person...she is from everywhere...and nowhere.

"Is granny very ill?"


...as a response, she felt a teardrop falling from her mom to her own head.

Yes, that bad.

[Maiden Miki]

I am wondering where this is going. I hope you post more.

[Elizabeth Akane]

((Thanks for reading! It will be a long story, I hope it is as enjoyable to read as it is to write! Hugs!))

[Elizabeth Akane]

"How about some ice cream? And I read somewhere that Sapporo has an amazing white chocolate thing!"

Elizabeth could not believe her ears, but, then again, that was her mother's especiality: to amaze her.  One second she was shedding tears. The next, she is blackmailing me with icecream. And...is she moving to the rigth side of the car? Can it be that...?

"wooah! Do I get to drive?" It is amazing! Finally! And in..
"hihihi...of course not, pumpkin, you are forgetting here we drive on the other side! But it was funny to see you face!"

"MOM!"

"That's me sweetie, now hop into the car and lets drive to the park, okay? Given the way you look, it will seem you are touring me! Isn't that cool?"

It is. I hate to admit it but the plan of getting ice cream at this...Odori Park? Is the most interesting thing today. 

"Yes! The more away I am from that silly uniform, the better!" I facepalm theatrically. 
"Look mom, I know I must go to school but...
AHHH! LOOK!!!" I scream as we avoid a black cat on the road.

"ah don't worry! You are such a baby! Weren't you a tough girl?" she laughs, but is so proud of that flash of compassion on her daughter's mind. 

That's Elizabeth. A girl who was born crying. Even the amniotic fluid was diluted in tears, the doctors said. An interesting fact that lost importance in ten minutes after the birth.

"Mom..." I ask, clawing the car seat with all I got. 
"If you lost your driver's licence in the States, how come you got a new one in Japan so soon?"

An uneasy silence followed for a whole minute.

"ah...they, er...didn't" her voice is almost cheerful, almost ashamed, but mostly? Undetermined! I never understand her. Never!

"I better not look. Your driving style makes men to say ALL girls can't drive!"


When the car finally stops at Odori park, I am ready to kiss the floor! Really, she is already a bad driver, now add to that the fact that cars are driven here on the other seat, and it is the recipe for an accident!

But we arrive, thankfully. The car stops and I jump off it, to the walking path.

"oh! From here, the tower looks high! And the flowers and..." I cut myself short. What is it with me? 

"it is nice" I say to my smiling mother.
"Lizzy, if you are happy for it, you don't have to hide it, you know? You..you are a beautiful girl, a flower like the thousands here. You are supposed to live a happy life!" 

"er...where is that ice cream? I am sure I am entitled to some, given I am such a pretty girl?" I just adore being ironic...


"Hello sir..." My mother, the eternal friends maker, decides to talk to the ice cream person. I promise you, the only icon she cares about in FB is -Friend-.
"This is my daughter, and she thinks she should get a free ice cream because she is pretty."





...please, let the earth swallow me and spit me in america...


"She is the living image of a girl I once knew!!" -the ice cream vendor said.

....no please no....


But he •HAD• to continue, right? So, he exclaimed, eyes bigger than ping pong balls...."AKANE!!"

I just...facepalm....

[Elizabeth Akane]

"Oh her name is Elizabeth" Her mother added in a flash. However, and alse in that very instant, she remembered when she agreed, holding the baby in her arms for the very first time, to name her as the late sister of Takumi, her husband. She was told that she was an unique woman and it would be both a pleasure and an honour should she accepted to name her like her.

"well...Elizabeth Akane, to be precise." 

When it is time to accept that you are beaten, it is time. 
"Elizabeth...Akane...Naome McMahon, sir. And I am very pleased to meet you." in deed, her father's family name is Naome, the second, her mother's.


"That's a strange combination, and...a big name for such a small girl." As a matter of fact, Elizabeth Akane Naome, or Flannagan, as her married name was, was a little bit of a celebrity in the city. Expelled the mafia? No. She founded a local foster home for orphans, a place that, given the good administration, was still running with healthy finances. Who could imagine he kids could record such lovely music CDs?

"...a big name" He added, and dried a teardrop quickly.

"But in Japan, you are to use your Family name first, Naome-san. Here, you are Naome Akane." He smiled at the girl. It was too much coincidence, she had to be related to the Naome, the ones living on the forest part of the city.

"big name, so I been told" ....like all my life, like a million times?

"so! How about that ice cream?"

"She likes..." her mother began to speak.
But the ice man was already serving, "...strawberry, of course" He said, offering a cone with the pinkiest ice ball ever on top of a cookie cone. My eyes glowed in delight, not even mjnding how the hell he knew my favourite flavor in the world!

"How..." mother began to say, but he only smiled at her. 


"Will you be spending some time in Sapporo, little Akane?" he asked, serving a chocolate ice cream to my mother. "The place seems to like you, hai? Look how beautiful the sky is today, and the flowers. Can you smell them?"


Mmmm! I begin licking the strawberry ball with eagerness! "mmm yes! All very lovely and...how do you say? Kawaii?" I reply between licks and bites to the delicious ice cream.

"Kawaii, yes! I see you don't speak Nihon-go! Kawaii means cute. 

Just like you!" He grinned an honest friendly grin at me.

"Ice creams will forever be free for you, sweetie. The debt I have with your aunt is one I would never repay." he said no more, but the formal bow of his closed the issue at perfection.


But Akane's mom was pierced with curiosity...

[Elizabeth Akane]

"Say, did I tell you about your new school, pumpkin?"

Actually? The ice cream is too tasty to start an argumentation, so I don't. It is not like I seem to have a saying in the matter anyway. And the day is so lovely, look at the sun, it makes the flowers to shine alive, their colours sparkling liveness to the grass. Is that a bee?  My eyes cross as the flying being passes in front of my face. 

It is such a lovely day indeed, its beauty is actually hard to resist. And I am trying! 

"Like a million times, mom, but how about you tell me again about it?" there you go, -that- is my sense of humour, which is never deprived of a tint of sarcasm.

"good! I will then! This is  othing like your old school, dear. Oh no!"

I bet not, like all the International Schools are any different. They must already have all my files, which means I will meet the school counselor first thing on monday morning. A deep sigh of resignation escapes me.

"Of course, nobody can escape the past, right sweetie? This means they want to have a talk with you, the sooner."

Now the great thing about eating ice cream is that you can stick out your tongue at the world and nobody thinks that is not polite.
So I do. 

"I guess I was already expecting that, mom. It is okay, or at least I won't be making a fuzz of it, promise"

Mmm! It has little pieces of strawberries in the ice cream! And he did say I get freebies from  ow on? He is my best friend already! That is the counselor I need! 

"To be honest, mom, I have never got it why is it that I 'need' so much er...'help'?" I ask casually. 

She smiled sweetly and tossed an arm around my shoulders as we walk to that big antenna thing on the park. Very emblematic of Sapporo, I have heard, along with the beer factory, but I wouldn't bet my panties she would take me there.

"well sugar, lets say you have a little bit of an issue when relating to people? Perhaps you are a bit...flat?"

Ah. That.

What a strange sensation. Here, in Sapporo, a land I only met when a little baby, more and more I am feeling...home.

"well, the flatness can easily be cured!
By the plastic surgeon? I am sure I could use some ...very discreet curves? How come I didn't inheret any American style body? Look at me...shame on you mom...your genetics got defeated by dad's!"

Of course, she laughs so hard her ice cream dangers into a spiral fall to the grass.


"Lets say I was polite and graciously allowed him to have his way, okay?"

"Too much information! Don't fill me with the naughty details!" I reply quickly!


"No! I meant genetically! Oh girl! Anyway...promise me...promise me Elizabeth that you will at least try to make some friends here in this school, please?

We are honestly worried about you.

I don't know. Join the cheerleaders?"

[Elizabeth Akane]

The cheerleaders!?!?!? The thought falls on me like a piano dropping from...from...from that tower antenna or whatever it is they have here in the park!

"I wouldn't bank on it, either, mom" I reply to her, shaking my head slightly, my dark hair tickling my ears, neck and shoulders.

"Cheerleaders are dumb, mom. And while I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, I retain some of my brain to understand that cheering for others is silly, dull, empty and most of all: submissive. And...no. Just...no.
I am not anyone's cheerleader."

My speech was good, I am sure it was! I mean, I am not Demosthenes, but it was still good!
Then how come all of it crumbles like cookies when she said..

"...ooopsie"


"oopsie? OOPSIE?" for a moment, I think my eyes will pop out of their orbits as images of myself, clad in a skirt specially designed to show my panties, flares up with every twist and turn! And the dumbest of blouses with the written name of a team I don't even belong to, shinning under the sun with sparkling stars and hearts. Piggy tails and pom poms. 

"oopsie!?" the remaining ice cream falls to my shoe!

"oopsie" she replied with a broad smile.
"Elizabeth, part of your problem is that you hide from others, you simply lock the doors to them, they can't reach you honey."

"well, part of •my problem• is also that I feel the need to make my own decisions, mother. I don't care if you or dad signed me up for it. I am not showing up. No, not even one day. Not even to try. Really mom, this is so wrong in so many ways!"


Why is she just looking at her nails? Isn't my opinion important? At all?
"Say what you want, pumpkin. And this is only the beginning. There are many changes coming to your life, sweetie, and you better learn to adjust and enjoy, for there is really no turning back." she sounded very definitive, and it was so out of style for her. Made me wonder if she and dad had more plans for me.

Then a bunch of kids, both girls and boys, in school uniforms fitting their age and size, lined to the ice cream cart. Her teacher led them to get one ice cream each, and merry they came and merry they left. All twenty of them. 

"You don't know where they were from, do you, Akane?" The ice cream man said, offering another cone to me. How could I refuse?

"well...no sir?" I ventured, shrugging in my shoulders. 

"Karma is such a funny thing sometimes..." He laughed an honest laugh as mom hugged me.

"Kids from the foster home your aunt founded some years ago, honey."

I roll my eyes...my dead aunt, again. How many times have I been told about her? Way too many!

"ah" is my most eloquent answer. Not exactly a fan of all I've heard of her.

"a woman of many lights she was."
"...and many shadows"

"didn't you tell me she worked in some sort of finishing school for girls?"


"Oh yes!!" she replied "a school for girls!" ...even if only few of them were really girls. And almost none were there by their own will...

[Elizabeth Akane]

This is all nonsense, and I like to keep my head in the here and now; not on my aunt who, as they say, had some heart problem which eventually took her life. I have been tested for the same thing, and doctors found me a very healthy girl, so no need to worry about that at all.
'Just watch it' -they said, and I am very interested in doing so. That means, no rude sports or long walks, and I guess I shall never develop a need for bungee jumping either. Who cares, I am as attracted to all that as I am to...cheerleading.

Nothing nothing... here and now, the place is wonderful, people take a walk, laugh and enjoy. Isn't life that about? Sure we must all study and eventually work, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy that too? And...just look at those flowers.



Out of the blue, something falls on my head. I fear the worst...and it HAS happened to me before! With some reservation, I only raise my eyes. No, no birds sharing 'leftovers' with me this time, only a tree. A cherry tree. My hand moves up to my head and brings a ... "how is this flower called?"

"Cherry blossom, my dear" She replies, placing it on my hair, exactly in the same moment that the ice cream man says "Sakura".
They both laugh. "Sakura" repeats mom, again, in the exact moment as the vendor says "Cherry blossom"


"Will you two stop speaking at the same time? Thank you! Arigato or whatever" I giggle, and... funny, some birds sing in response.


"Japan loves you, little Akane, that's why you keep coming back to us, beyond frontiers, this IS your land" He nods witha bow.
"I---I also have a warm feeling for my mother's family homeland, Scotland" I murmur, hoping not to offend him, his honour, his ancestors or whatever that could be offended.


"That's my girl! We should have our clan's kilt worn all the time! Yay for the McMahon!!!" Ah! that Highlander pride of hers! Even if she is American! I think dad met her in a party at my aunts' little castle in Scotland. Akane and her wife Penny, yes, lesbians, a trait not passed to me...that I know!

"yes! our clan's kilt! and NOT a super silly Japanese school uniform!" I reply with the same emotion!



She laughs, he laughs, the birds giggle and even the flowers seem to make fun of me.... then she adds like only mothers can add:
"nice try pumpkin! but now we are walking to your new school....yes?"

[Elizabeth Akane]

"Come on girl! Do you really HAVE to walk so slowly?"

Am I? I didn't even realize I was 'turtle-ing' my pace towards the school, which definitely has my mother a hundred times more excited than me.
No, I am not a bit amused by the idea. When you have been in an International School, you have been in all. It is like a global déjà-vu!

But that is not the reason, I think, of my slowness in the sidewalk as cars driven in the 'wrong' side pass beside us. No. There is...something else.
Something in the air...as my dad would quote from his music.

Dad. Takumi is crazy, that's why he makes one painting a year, sells it, and travels around the world explaining the world what he meant by it. Truth is: even he doesn't know. I have heard him explaining the same painting in five different ways. But mom loves him with adoration, and he basically worships her, so...I was born! HA!

Anyway, as I was saying, there is something in the air, something I really can't put my finger on. Like a spirit, an essence? Damn..I feel at home.

"And now you are smiling at the air? Really Elizabeth, you ARE a strange girl! We try everything to make you smile, even take you to the dentist and take pictures of you with the mouth openers, just to see you smiling, ...and all it takes is for you to stare at the school door to smile to achieve the biggest smile I've seen on you in a month? You got that insanity from your father's family, because we are very sane!"

"Sorry sorry....we" Yes, the school is there, door opening and a large hall in front of us. Some old man who smiles at me with a bow ushers us inside.

"It has been a long time, Miss Akane" He says, and I look at him with suprise in my eyes. I have never, NEVER, seen this guy in my life!

"Yes, like a life time" See? I can make conversation and be polite if I *really* try hard!


"Exactly that time, Miss. You are right." He said, confirming to me that he is a bit loco. I cling to my mom's arm, just in case!



Now, the fact that I find it all so familiar is because all International Schools are exactly the same, of course.

Of course.

Of course!!


I shudder for a second and fix the flower on my hair.

Sorority flags here, trophies there, medals and pictures over there. Suddenly I am alone.


"..mom?"

"mom?"


Silence, just... a trophy in front of me. A trophy for a cheerleading competition. The golden girl with pom poms on the item is sculpted to be perfect, to look happy in her jump over other girls, possessed by an unearthy grace.
On the plate at the base of trophy I read the winning team. The last name....
"Elizabeth Akane Dean Naome" I repeat, like a spell. And when I raise my eyes to the glass between the trophy and me, the reflection of another pair. Black as a bottomless pit, fierce as only a wild animal could have, look straight at me.

Those eyes... and all is the same shade of black.





"Is she alright doctor? What happened?"
"Has she fainted before?" A man answers to my mother.
"No, happens...not often, but we have seen this. But never with seizures, like today"

"Look, she is coming back...

...Hello little one, welcome back, I am the doctor and psychiatrist of the school, and you are?"



Funny how his smile flattened when he heard my name.



Then I turn my head to a wall, I don't know if I should laugh or cry at the poster hanging from it...

[Blaze]

Interesting, curious to see where this is going!

Though I think you might benefit from proofreading it, or getting someone else to give it a second one if you do already, since minor typos pop up here and there.

[Elizabeth Akane]

Oh! so sorry! I shall try better... In my defence I will say I mostly post from my mobile, which makes it a bit hard and...English is not my native language. But I will try! HUGS!

[Elizabeth Akane]

"My head...what happened anyway?" I ask with a voice that trembles, moving to a somewhat better sitting position on the long chair,
"I feel as if hit by a falling piano, you know?" I won't shake my head any more, it only makes it feel worse.

It takes me a full minute to realize I should mind how am I dressed. The thought of 'you are showing your panties' is deeply ingrained in all girls' mind, I guess; so, with that in mind, my hands, almost if bewitched by a spell, move to smooth down my skirt.
Wait...! I was not using a skirt! What the...I am already wearing the school's uniform!

My jaw drops to the floor, ...what the hell happened here? I turn to face my mother, suddenly feeling very fragile, very...weak?

"Pumpkin, you really worried me there, I had never seen a person having a seizure. I didn't know what to do!, it was even worse when that cheerleading trophy fell and hit you on the head!

...well, that was actually kinda funny...er...sorry...
...sorry...but the video on youtube has already two hundred hits! look!

I am not really certain how to react to my mom. "You...you got a video instead of helping me?" I can't believe this! Then I see it on her iPhone... my eyes fixed on the crystal containing the trophy, like a thing possessed, just staring at it as my jaw drops online. Then, the sparkling image of a tear on my eye, and then...oops! to the floor I fall, exactly as a flower falls from a tree to the grass, slowly, almost floating like a bubble, but down, not up, falling up would be VERY strange. Anyway, after a small pause on the floor, I witness myself via the miracle of YouTube as my body begins to convulse as if shaken by electric discharges, or possessed by some evil spirit...like I believe in any. Ha! Then the funny part begins, as announced in many video coments: 'the best part comes in 2:73!' Well, it is a way to express it, and I bet that user that identifies him or herself as 'peelover1' had a great time as a yellow pool formed under me as the girl on the video, who somehow I feel so distant to me even if it is me, finishes her seizure.


I am all blushing from the head to the toes. That explains the clothes change. I correct: that explains me wearing this...parody of...something!


"I am sorry I made a mess of myself, and of the floor." It is the first thing I can say after the experience of which I hold no recolection.
"I...will go there and clean it all... it won't be noticed, I promise..." The face of the shrink is a picture, he passes from professional that examines me like an specimen to..the man behind that. His expression softens and he smiles. "That won't be necesary, Akane. The cleaning was already done. However, I thank you, and I praise your attitude, really!" And mentally he pondered how different that attitude was from the reference point. The very well known aunt. He shook his head slightly, drinking on the vision of this cute girl that was more ashamed than worried, more filled with solicitud than with anger.
Or was he comparing with the last Akane Naome he dealt with? Perhaps, but it was also true that this girl's aura was very different.

I look at my mom, and press LIKE on the YouTube video.

"Thank you so much for helping me, I say, bowing my head to both doctor and mother" Wait, did I just bow? This place is getting into me...fast.


When I get off the long chair, the sound of shoes, rather than my usual tennis, reaches my ears. My ears...I touch them.

"Mooom! I am really thankful but... you HAD to put earrings on me?" I laugh... It only takes me a bit of unconsciousness and she dolls me up like...like a doll!

[Blaze]

Wow, I gotta say, Akane's mom is coming across as a bad person. Not eccentric or anything, but genuinely horrible. Is that intentional? And how did she have the video camera running BEFORE the trophy fell? Was she expecting it? o__o

[Elizabeth Akane]

Lol, totally not intentional! My idea of her is more like a distracted person with her own particular point of view at life, and who tries hard to understand her daughter even if she can't really figure her out. But really loves her dearly. Thanks for keep on reading! It will grow so much more interesting I trust!

Hugs!