Untitled Story (pt. 1) by Jayme

[Jayme]

My name is James Tolten, or at least it was a few days ago, you see a few days ago something strange happened to me, but before I go too far, lets start this story, you see a few days ago I had a dream....

....in this dream I was running, I couldn't see anything around me except for a gray floor, and lights that illuminated my path. Everything else was surrounded by shadows and my hair kept hitting me in the face. Thats not possible though, I keep my hair pretty short, and while it was longer than most boys hair, it wouldn't be long enough to hit me in the face. What was going on here? I wasn't even running as fast as I normally could, and despite anything I tried I couldn't looked down, or to the side, and I couldn't stop. Was this a dream? Am I dead? Whats going on here?!

I woke up in a cold sweat, and looked around the room its still dark out, and my computer is gone. The light that usually illuminates my my room is gone, and my A/C isn't running so im really hot. My first and only thought is that the electricity must've went out again, I rolled over and slowly drifted back to sleep ignoring my uncomfortableness passing it off as heat from no A/C. The dream resumed, but things were alot brighter, I notice several faces I haven't seen in years Krystal Remshaw is the one that sticks out the most, she's beautiful. She stands about 5'2 at least the last time I saw her in 9th grade. Her face is beautiful with gorgeous green eyes, long brown hair that goes to her shoulders, its silky. Why is her face so clear though, shouldn't it be blurry after his all time? I dont know whats going on, thats when I hear a bang on my wall followed by the sound of my mom's voice.

"Alright! Time to get up and get ready for school" she bangs on the wall again, and I hear her walk away. I groan confused mainly because I haven't been in school for at least 2 years, I shrug it off and sit up scratching the back of my head, my hair feels a bit smoother, longer even, but I dont pay any attention to it really. I haven't had a haircut in a while. I spin a bit, hang my legs off the bed, and get up. I almost stumble as something feels off almost like bed is taller than usual. My eyes are still blurry and I cant really see straight thanks to it, so I forget about that. My pants hanging off my hips and I have to hold them up, I dont pay much attention to it though. I have been losing a bit of weight lately, with weight lifting and exercises, the fact I have to hold my pants up is kind of nice for my ego.

I stumble out of my room, and into the bathroom, I nearly trip over discarded clothing that someone left out. I walk forward a bit and turn, where I take my normal relaxed position right in front of the toilet. I release my hold on my pants and boxers and they fall to the floor, I reach down between my legs only to get a palm full of air. I blink confused and scramble around for it, until I realize the fact that IT's gone. I let out a scream, its oddly high-pitched, the pitch of it could wake the dead if it was possible.

I was a girl, somehow, I had become a girl my member was gone. What else could I do in this situation, despite how I hard I was trying, what with the higher emotions I currently had thanks to this body, and the fact that I just lost my malehood, I broke down crying. My mom came running from the scream only to see a crying girl there in her son's clothes, pants and underwear around her ankles, the clothes obviously big for her. My mom looked different though, younger, healthier. I looked backwards into the mirror, and I couldn't believe what I saw, staring back at me was a cute girl with long brown hair, sparkling brown eyes, small A cup breasts, wearing a black t-shirt with a skull on the chest, tears rolling down her face. She looked almost like I would if I had been born a girl, just younger.

"Oh no.. Oh no no no!" I had somehow become a girl and to make things even worse I had somehow been sent back about 6 years. I was 15 years old, and female.. with no clue on how it happened. My mom looked even more shocked than me, and why wouldn't she be? Seeing a strange girl half-nude crying in your bathroom isn't something that happens everyday. I stared at my mom and tried to form words, but none would come, we both just stood there staring at each other, her look was shock, my look was a mixture of fear, shock, and confusion.

"H-Hi Mom..." I managed to squeak out, my voice was so quiet, it was even quieter than Krystal's was way back then. My mom's look of shock turned to confusion..

".....Who are you?" she managed to ask me, despite everything she was seeing.

"Its me, James... I think, I dont look like myself.. obviously" I managed to squeak out again, my horrible sense of explaining anything once again making itself painfully obvious.

My mom didn't say much "You cant miss school because of this you know. Unfortunately, you've missed enough days, whether your a girl or not, you have to get dressed, dont worry ill take you today, we'll sort this out I promise" and with that she walked away, I couldn't believe it, I had to go to school like this too! Just great, as if I wasn't having a hard enough time with girls as it was. I pulled my pants up and stumbled back to my room. I sit on my bed, looking around my room for at least 10 minutes, nothing had changed, it was still as messy as ever, my clothes thrown all over the room, my SNES plugged into my TV, the Final Fantasy IV cartridge in it. I haven't played that game in about 5 years, it was funny seeing it again.

I figured id put it off enough, and kicked off my clothes, I didn't wanna see myself naked not yet. I still wasn't ready to accept this, maybe it was all a dream either way I had to get dressed so I slid on a fresh pair of boxers, an old pair of jeans, tossed on a new black t-shirt, and threw on an old sweater. I figured this would at least hide I was a girl to those at a distance. I grabbed an old cap and in cliche fashion, tucked my hair under it, and smiled. There! Despite my cuter face, weight loss, and height difference, no one would be able to tell the difference! It was almost time to go, and I was getting nervous, this day would definitely be one of the more interesting ones ive ever had.


--------------------------------

If anyone wants to edit my grammar/spelling feel free to do so, at the moment its the cliche waking up "OMG im a girl" etc etc, but I think it'll get better (XD yes its my dream in story form)

[Arkain]

*jaw drop*
"You cant miss school because of this you know. Unfortunately, you've missed enough days, whether your a girl or not, you have to get dressed, dont worry ill take you today, we'll sort this out I promise"

Huh!?

"Oh, I see, you're James, this all makes sense now. Oh, get ready for school, dear."

Aside from that, no story problems (Yeah, OMG am girl opening. You didn't gloss over it at least, and James' reaction was at least believable.)

Grammer and spelling...
despite anything I tried I couldn't looked down, or to the side
should be 'look down'
I wasn't all that keen on spotting language errors, though, so others will want to chip in on that.

[Kuroken DB]

Jayme, this is just AWESOME stuff! A little grammar fix here and there (nothing terribly distracting), and it'd be just about perfect! I would have liked to see more of a reaction out of Mom (my mom would FREAK if she walked in and I was younger and a boy, so maybe the woman should faint or something? LOL), but it would make the story a lot longer if you did that, and might take away from the main point, so just ignore me LOL.

I loved it ^_^

[Jayme]

Perhaps the mom accepting it so easily is hard to believe XD but this is my dream in story form, in my dream, my mom accepted it with no proble, I tried but I couldn't work that in without ruining the whole next chapter.. I tried too but I kept getting tongue tied..

[Jayme]

My name is James Tolten, or at least it was a few days ago, you see a few days ago something strange happened to me, but before I go too far, lets start this story, you see a few days ago I had a dream....

....in this dream I was running, I couldn't see anything around me except for a gray floor, and lights that illuminated my path. Everything else was surrounded by shadows and my hair kept hitting me in the face. Thats not possible though, I keep my hair pretty short, and while it was longer than most boys hair, it wouldn't be long enough to hit me in the face. What was going on here? I wasn't even running as fast as I normally could, and despite anything I tried I couldn't look down, or to the side, and I couldn't stop. Was this a dream? Am I dead? Whats going on here?!

I woke up in a cold sweat, and looked around the room its still dark out, and my computer is gone. The light that usually illuminates my my room is gone, and my A/C isn't running so im really hot. My first and only thought is that the electricity must've went out again, I rolled over and slowly drifted back to sleep ignoring my uncomfortableness passing it off as heat from no A/C. The dream resumed, but things were alot brighter, I notice several faces I haven't seen in years Krystal Remshaw is the one that sticks out the most, she's beautiful. She stands about 5'2 at least the last time I saw her in 9th grade. Her face is beautiful with gorgeous green eyes, long brown hair that goes to her shoulders, its silky. Why is her face so clear though, shouldn't it be blurry after his all time? I dont know whats going on, thats when I hear a bang on my wall followed by the sound of my mom's voice.

"Alright! Time to get up and get ready for school" she bangs on the wall again, and I hear her walk away. I groan confused mainly because I haven't been in school for at least 2 years, I shrug it off and sit up scratching the back of my head, my hair feels a bit smoother, longer even, but I dont pay any attention to it really. I haven't had a haircut in a while. I spin a bit, hang my legs off the bed, and get up. I almost stumble as something feels off almost like bed is taller than usual. My eyes are still blurry and I cant really see straight thanks to it, so I forget about that. My pants hanging off my hips and I have to hold them up, I dont pay much attention to it though. I have been losing a bit of weight lately, with weight lifting and exercises, the fact I have to hold my pants up is kind of nice for my ego.

I stumble out of my room, and into the bathroom, I nearly trip over discarded clothing that someone left out. I walk forward a bit and turn, where I take my normal relaxed position right in front of the toilet. I release my hold on my pants and boxers and they fall to the floor, I reach down between my legs only to get a palm full of air. I blink confused and scramble around for it, until I realize the fact that IT's gone. I let out a scream, its oddly high-pitched, the pitch of it could wake the dead if it was possible.

I was a girl, somehow, I had become a girl my member was gone. What else could I do in this situation, despite how I hard I was trying, what with the higher emotions I currently had thanks to this body, and the fact that I just lost my malehood, I broke down crying. My mom came running from the scream only to see a crying girl there in her son's clothes, pants and underwear around her ankles, the clothes obviously big for her. My mom looked different though, younger, healthier. I looked backwards into the mirror, and I couldn't believe what I saw, staring back at me was a cute girl with long brown hair, sparkling brown eyes, small A cup breasts, wearing a black t-shirt with a skull on the chest, tears rolling down her face. She looked almost like I would if I had been born a girl, just younger.

"Oh no.. Oh no no no!" I had somehow become a girl and to make things even worse I had somehow been sent back about 6 years. I was 15 years old, and female.. with no clue on how it happened. My mom looked even more shocked than me, and why wouldn't she be? Seeing a strange girl half-nude crying in your bathroom isn't something that happens everyday. I stared at my mom and tried to form words, but none would come, we both just stood there staring at each other, her look was shock, my look was a mixture of fear, shock, and confusion.

"H-Hi Mom..." I managed to squeak out, my voice was so quiet, it was even quieter than Krystal's was way back then. My mom's look of shock turned to confusion..

".....Who are you?" she managed to ask me, despite everything she was seeing.

"Its me, James... I think, I dont look like myself.. obviously" I managed to squeak out again, my horrible sense of explaining anything once again making itself painfully obvious.

My mom didn't say much, she looked on the verge of faint. She was just as lost in this whole situation as I was, she wouldn't believe me though, and even if she did could she accept this, I mean I couldn't accept this and it was happening to me. She turned away, and started walking down the hallway, I was lost I mean I just got changed into a girl here! A little sympathy or help, please? I heard her voice as she wandered.. "..This is strange... but, you cant miss school today. Unfortunately, you've missed enough days, and I dont think this would count under acceptable reasons for missing school.. whether your a girl or not, you have to get dressed, dont worry ill take you today, i'll sort this out with the principal when we get there I promise.. once I sort it out myself that is" and with that she stopped talking and was gone, I couldn't believe it, I had to go to school like this too! Just great, I woke up a girl not even 6 minutes and as if I wasn't having a hard enough time with girls as it was, I had to show up like this? I pulled my pants up angrily, and stumbled back to my room. I sit on my bed, looking around my room for at least 10 minutes, nothing had changed since I was 15, it was still as messy as ever, my clothes thrown all over the room, TV on some old cartoon I dont even remember watching, my SNES plugged into my TV, the Final Fantasy IV cartridge in it. I haven't played that game in about 5 years, it was funny seeing it again.

I figured id put it off enough, and stood, I sighed and kicked off my clothes, I didn't wanna see myself naked not yet. I still wasn't ready to accept this, maybe it was all a dream. Whatever had happened to me, didn't change the fact that I had to get dressed I couldn't lounge in my PJ's all day, and my mom has this tendency to get angry if I dont listen so I dug around the room I slid on a fresh pair of boxers, an old pair of jeans, a new black t-shirt, and an old sweater. I figured this would at least hide I was a girl to those at a distance. I grabbed an old cap off the wall that belonged to my grandpa and in cliche fashion, tucked my hair under it, and smiled. There! Despite my cuter face, weight loss, and height difference, no one would be able to tell the difference! It was almost time to go, and I was getting nervous, this day would definitely be one of the more interesting ones ive ever had.

----

Edited a bit

[Arkain]

Well, Dream Logic is pretty crazy anyway.

In order for it to make sense, you'd probably have to skip the whole school thing entirely, which would doubtless invalidate going to school, aye?

[Jayme]

Ok Im considering rewriting this chapter, this may effect the next chapter, but I wanna get a 'poll' of suggestions...

Should 'she' go to school or something else? All suggestions welcome, please keep it PG-13, remember she's not gonna be "OMG Girl Lets go Shopping" she's gonna have a hard time accepting it, but if she doesn't go to school then what happens instead of her mom telling her to get dressed for school so casually..

[Mistress Guendolen]

I have an idea for you, in regards to the issue of the mother. What if... said mother gives no indication of ever remembering she had a son? There's James, freaking out, and she's like, "What's the matter, dear? Do you have bad cramps like last month?" or whatever. It could be an interesting exploration of a skewed reality to see who remembers the old male-ness and who doesn't. Then a journey/investigation can be undertaken to find out what power caused this incredible change in reality, and how to get it turned back.... Though by the end, perhaps he might not even want to.... It also allows sending the character to school without worrying about leaps in logic and probability. Heck, school will be a really interesting venue to explore people's reactions, see i fanyone remmebers the character's former incarnation, and even drop hints as to the source of it all. Ah, foreshadowing can be a wonderful thing.... Especially if it's so subtle the readers don't realize it until after the fact. Other than that, though, you're looking good. I'd have to go through in greater detail to find little spelling and grammatical errors; nothing jumped out at me as truly glaring, so I'd have to pull out my fine-toothed comb. Otherwise, this seems to be an intriguing premise. You could do a lot with it.

[Bowser ala Femme]

Hey Jayme! Great story! So what if it's cliché, as you mentioned? It's great to see you writing. I like it muchly. Can't wait to read more~! ^.^

[Mistress Guendolen]

The thing with a cliche is that if you turn it sideways, upside down, or inside-out, it ceases to become a cliche! Who knows where this could go, hm? She could all too easily pull a number on us.

[Jayme]

:\ id do that Guendolen, but the story circles around everyone remembering him, thus brings the teasing, the learning, etc.. if people remember him as a girl, then it loses that taste im going for..

and thanks everyone.. *hugs ya all and goes to write some edits to chapter one.*

[Mistress Guendolen]

Oh, I see. I didn't know about that. I'll think it over and see what I can come up with for you. Hope my feedback helps. Say, I did just get a notion regarding the school thing. Given circumstances, I don't think that he/she would necessarily go back right off, for emotional reasons if nothing else. I think a parent would understand that. A huge scenario like that would allow time off the adjust, like some other huge change in your life might require, like losing a relative or whatever. Heck, you could even do a scenario of the two of them going out together, doing the shopping you mentioned, to "get used to" girlhood. But school would be enforced when, perhaps a few days are missed and someone, friend or official, calls to find out what's up. Then he/she HAS to return. That'll make the reactions all the more marked. This could evolve into a really interesting personal exploration, if you play your cards right. Hope some of this is useful. Heck, with the shopping scenario (or later ones), you could even sneak in some unexpected bonding with the mom, developing a greater rapport and closeness that he/she had hitherto not realized was missing.

[Arkain]

I don't think there'd be teasing and learning so much as shock, awe, and being hauled away by scientists.

Her family, if they have any care for her at all, would immediately begin a campaign of hiding her from existance or emigrating to some country where their lack of adequete records on this matter don't exist. Or even having her run away and letting the government sort out the 'mysteriously missing person' who appeared on their doorstep, maybe even adopting her once that's all sorted out (the precedures for this are, well, nonexistant ;D So I can't give you an idea of how that might go down.)

But I can pretty much guarentee that changes of this nature are not easily swallowed by our world. If you want to obtain a certain result without making it look really contrived, just work out those parts.

Not that I'm saying your idea of bonding and getting used to the situation is totally out the window, you'd just have a few hurdles to cross if you keep at your current setting.

Possible Idea: Only the people close to her (close family, friends) remember the previous condition. Even the records reflect otherwise.

[Mistress Guendolen]

You've just brought up some very valid points. Hey, maybe this character could get sent away to boarding school?... You mentioned records. Well, I know (not from personal experience, but I do know) that it's possible to get those things changed or eliminated; people have done it. Especially those who want to "escape" their current life, not to mention members of the witness protection program. Maybe they could have a family friend or relative with detective-ish connections, who could help with this. Alterations to social security numbers, birth certificates, etc. As you said, this person would probably really want to get out of this current area and start anew. This way you can find a middle ground, as it were, still utilizing a school setting while also working with the mental and emotional needs of a character, as seen to by people who really care about them. I mention the fudging of the records in case anything needs changed, so as to avoid questions being asked. The notion of only the closest individuals remembering is an interesting concept, as well; an exploration of who remembers versus who doesn't, perhaps. And I'm thinking scientists ought to be involved at some point, due to the world we live in.

[SweetSophia]

Nice story. I'm a bit confused what tense you're writing in when there are things like "I stumble" side by side with "I managed". I used to do that alot so it stands out to me. And, being a grammar nazi in training, I'd have to kill myself if I didn't point out the uncapitalized "im" without an apostrphe in the third paragraph. But, I like the story and want to hear more.

Your mom's reaction reminds me of my mom's attendance policy: "If you're not bleeding to death or puking up a lung, you're going to school."