[Writing] I'm such a storywart

[Queen Octavia]

I feel the urge to out-Canadian you with you ceaseless ehs, you scoundrel.

Anywho, I read that update, of course. Mainly because I didn't want to post something in my own thread, and due to my compulsive need to be the most recent poster in the story corner I had to read something. But I digest (supper was good tonight).

In terms of speeling with grammar, it seemed fine to me. That stuff won't make a story, but it can sure break it. You pass the first hurdle, once again.

I'm going to complain about it being fanfiction, just because that's the sort of person I am. Even if it is well-written, as was the case, my eyes still bleed reflexively.

One of the things I dislike about the story is a common complaint I have with most TG stories. The protagonist is a hapless bystander of the plot and his/her decisions (if any) are irrelevant. It just seems more realistic to me when the plot is a result or response to characters actions, rather than it being a freight train driven by the author running down the characters at 200mph. That's more of a personal gripe applied nitpickingly to your story than anything else though, don't let it bother you unless you agree. 'Tis your story.

Okay, now that I've been enough of a jerk (err, constructive?), I'll butter you up with some compliments. I'm tricky like that.

I really enjoyed the pace of the story. Each scene was colorful, had some good moments in it and felt like it was just about the right length. They did a good job giving each character a little bit of spotlight.

I also like where the ideas of where the story might be going. That may not sound like much (since the rest of the story doesn't exist...yet (No suggestive overtones implied, honest)), but it really is something. The main purpose of this first bit is to draw me in, and I certainly feel curious to see where it's going.

Well, that's all the reviewing I have in me. It's not exactly my forte either, but I do what I can.

[Mitera Nikkou]

I feel the urge to out-Canadian you with you ceaseless ehs, you scoundrel.

Bring it on, bacon breath. ;p

Anywho, I read that update, of course. Mainly because I didn't want to post something in my own thread, and due to my compulsive need to be the most recent poster in the story corner I had to read something. But I digest (supper was good tonight).

Would I be a turd if I read into that too much?

In terms of speeling with grammar, it seemed fine to me.

Yeah, I find it hot, too.

That stuff won't make a story, but it can sure break it.

My, don't you know your naughty stuff.

You pass the first hurdle, once again.

My virginity is suffering from Groundhog Day syndrome!? @_@

I'm going to complain about it being fanfiction, just because that's the sort of person I am. Even if it is well-written, as was the case, my eyes still bleed reflexively.

I'd write fiction if I could get into the right frame of mind. But it's rare since it requires more work, and I suffer from a slew of mental disabilities. So I do what I can. Playing with premade clay is easier to get involved in than creating clay to make playing with it possible.

One of the things I dislike about the story is a common complaint I have with most TG stories. The protagonist is a hapless bystander of the plot and his/her decisions (if any) are irrelevant. It just seems more realistic to me when the plot is a result or response to characters actions, rather than it being a freight train driven by the author running down the characters at 200mph. That's more of a personal gripe applied nitpickingly to your story than anything else though, don't let it bother you unless you agree. 'Tis your story.

I actually prefer the character's choice, but I am but a mere slave to both the ideas I come up with and the material available to me. And in regard to To Love-Ru, I can't imagine a reason why Rito would take it upon himself to become female, in canon. And he's a hapless character to begin with, anyway. ^^;

Okay, now that I've been enough of a jerk (err, constructive?), I'll butter you up with some compliments. I'm tricky like that.

You should try that line with Muffinstud.

I really enjoyed the pace of the story. Each scene was colorful, had some good moments in it and felt like it was just about the right length. They did a good job giving each character a little bit of spotlight.

Well, at least my experimentation didn't completely flop. I can never decide exactly how to write something until I'm in the middle of writing it. <_<; I hope I can keep it up when I have more characters to juggle. X_X

I also like where the ideas of where the story might be going. That may not sound like much (since the rest of the story doesn't exist...yet (No suggestive overtones implied, honest)), but it really is something. The main purpose of this first bit is to draw me in, and I certainly feel curious to see where it's going.

The fun part is that I'm killing two birds with one stone with this story. But I won't tell you what the birds are, or what the stone is, of course. But it might already be apparent, by now, if you're familiar enough with the series. I'm not writing for the TG, amazingly enough.

Well, that's all the reviewing I have in me. It's not exactly my forte either, but I do what I can.

My form is more worse than your worst! Ha!

(And maybe check out Manna when I make my next update. (Since it will then be finished.) Keiichi is only half-hapless, in that one. Don't ask me how something can be half-hapless. I'm not sure!)

[Mitera Nikkou]

Eh!

[Mitera Nikkou]

Eh?

[Mitera Nikkou]

Eh~

And on another note, I'm slowly working on a Magical Sailor Seifuku story. I'm thinking that I'll have it done sometime next month. <_<

[Mitera Nikkou]

Eh.

For anyone who's been waiting for more Dark Side of the Moon (which I doubt), I finally updated it.

Now that that's out of the way... It's about time I finish my magical sailor seifuku story. Weeee~