Alright, I've finished playing through the Crown Tundra's storyline, and I'll check out more of the Max Lair another time. For now, after more than 53,000 words, it's time to wrap this story up and hope the dialogue in the first part makes sense.
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Taking Out The TrashChapter TenDate/Time: Three days later, mid-afternoonBeep.
Beep.
Mmf... that noise... where's it coming from?Beep.
Beep.
He opened his eyes slowly as he got used to the light. At the limits of his vision, he noticed he was hooked up to an IV unit and some assorted machinery.
I remember now, he thought.
Ambush Cat attacked me. Wonder who brought me here... which hospital am I in?Some nearby chatter got his attention, and he closed his eyes just enough to fool anyone into thinking he was still asleep. Several nurses---one petite, brown-haired and just out of college if he was any judge, and one well-endowed purplette whose stitched flesh was locked in a paradoxically healthy decay---were going about their business in the vicinity of his bed. Their conversation sounded like they'd been talking for a while; not able to do much else at the moment, he focused and listened in.
"...But it's like I told the patient in Room #309. If it walks like a duck but honks like a goose, it's not a duck. If it walks like a pigeon but quacks like a duck, it's not a duck. It's like that Chicken Boo cartoon, you know? No matter how it dresses up or acts like a human, it's always going to be a chicken. That's just lying to oneself and others."
"Yeah, much as I don't like Ambush, I like how he explained his life course. It was something along the lines of... hold on, let me get this set up... okay, I think it was like: 'When I'm a cat, I'm a cat. When I'm human, then I'm human. If I'm male, then I'm male. If I'm female, then I'm female.' Talk about both simple
and complex."
"I agree, but it's just complex enough that it soars over a lot of people's heads. I mean, there was a rumor floating around Muffinville for a while that Callista Metallium was just a transgender guy, since she admitted to being born male. Thing is, that rumor was circulated by interdimensional newcomers to the Continent who didn't really know what the term meant and weren't trying to get their facts straight. I had the chance to ask her once, and she said that back when she appeared in Spamville as a mutant male, a goddess gave him the chance to regain his humanity at the cost of a genderswap and mild personality adjustment."
"If the magic the goddess used is anything like it is around here, I have to assume it was thorough."
"Saying the least there. A complete guy one second, a complete girl the next. It's like she had two X chromosomes her entire life instead of what... just ten, eleven years? I forget the exact number. ...But anyway, if she's to be believed she's never forgotten what it was like to be male, and she was never confused about being something she wasn't either. Simply
being human again took priority over everything else, including which side of the fence she was on. Like you just said about Ambush: male when male, female when female."
"You know, I used to wonder why Earth's residents had the most skewed opinions. Not so much anymore..."
A stark realization hit his mind as the nurses babbled on, causing him to open his eyes unconsciously.
Is this what Metallium meant by...?!The nurses turned to look at him with a bit of surprise as he tried to move his mouth. "Ah, you're awake!" the mousy brown-haired one greeted him as they walked into the room. "I'm sorry, we shouldn't have been talking so much." She checked her information. "I'm Kelly and she's Asuka, and we'll be your nurses today. So from the information we have here, you're a 'Marcella Emeral'. True age 45 years, physical age 17 years, correct?"
No, I'm Marc. Marc Maddhouse!"I can't tell what you're trying to say, but I think you're... confirming it?"
No! No, no, no! I am not "Marcella", I am Marc. MARC!"Well, thankfully what we have's accurate so far," Asuka said. "We scanned you when you arrived, so we already know you're
Green... and you arrived here with some pretty nasty injuries. Got on the wrong side of either the Shopping Queen or that little furry menace? Don't worry. You're in good hands."
...Alright, why aren't words exiting my mouth? Just what did that horror movie reject do?
Asuka started working with a nearby computer, grimacing at something. "Unfortunately, do you mind waiting just a few moments before we get down to business? It feels like every computer in this wing's been going absolutely stir-crazy today. Sort of like that whole mess at the North Maddhouse Center this past weekend."
Kelly turned to her in confusion. "'Whole mess'? What are you talking about?"
An irritated sigh escaped the older nurse. "You need to get out more. That semi-psycho sorceress with the magic shop? Rumor has it that Mr. Maddhouse shot her with some kind of hypno-gun of command and got her to fall in love with him by making her drink one of her own love potions."
"Hapan Gun of Command, Mrs. Asuka. It's
Star Wars.""Don't talk to me about
Star Wars, please. I'm a Trekkie. What bothers me is that I thought she test-marketed those things once and decided they delved too far into mind control for her tastes. Why did she start selling them again? It makes no sense."
Kelly raised a finger hesitantly. "Um... maybe she found some sort of workaround? Something that would let the customer break free of its effects anytime they wanted?"
Asuka stopped fiddling with the computer and slowly turned to stare at her. After a few seconds of silence she finally dope-slapped herself. "I'm an idiot."
"No, that's just the
Yellow in you talking. Your brain's partially dissolved, remember?"
An eye-roll that indicated good-natured exasperation. "Don't remind me. Anyway, it occurs to me that the marriage didn't work out because of that. I mean, one day she's completely uninterested in men, the next she goes gaga over one of the worst people alive, and then not long after she's back to normal like nothing had happened. I completely missed the most obvious solution to it all."
Kelly glanced at the computer and jotted something down. "Wow. Magic, am I right?"
Marc's heart rate monitor began speeding up, the words doing nothing to ease his stress.
My hold on the sorceress broken...!"Heh... I'll tell
you what's magic, Miss Kelly: Aryu-Madd Tech shutting down completely," Asuka said, frowning in concentration as she worked on something. "That Brotherhood dragon destroyed their communications while that... that..."
"Lightning Flash?" Kelly offered.
"Yes, that, thank you. Anyway
she blew up their corporate headquarters and released an entire crate's worth of dirt on the upper echelons. Between that, Agent Echo's investigations and that Hasano kid being quick on the draw, there isn't a single lawyer that wants to defend them in court."
"Yeeahh, that makes me wonder something: just who's 'Agent Echo'?"
Asuka sighed and shook her head. "No one knows anything about him or her, just that they found enough evidence of Maddhouse's attorneys' wrongdoings to potentially put the sharks away for decades. They think the precinct's police chief knows, but so far nothing's been said about their identity. Anyhow, a court date's been set for the middle of March..."
/-/-/-/-/-/-/Location: The Harrison residence
Echo sat on the back of the couch, eyes closed and his purrs filling the room. Amber, who'd been dozing on the cushions a few minutes previous, smiled up at him. "Well. Someone's sounding awfully proud of himself."
The cat got up and jumped onto Amber's side, causing her to grunt as he landed. He situated himself on her arm, putting him just close enough to nose her face. With that done he hunkered back down, closing his eyes again.
Amber tiredly reached up the best she could and lightly scratched behind one of Echo's ears, smiling. "Hearing you loud and clear, my little grown-up kitten. I love you too, and I'm proud of what you've done. Thank you for all your help."
As the family television---linked as it was to four different worlds---continued blaring news reports from the Muffinverse, the ongoing purring showed her exactly what Echo thought of his mother's praise.
/-/-/-/-/-/-/The beeping continued to accelerate as Marc listened to the nurses.
My corporation crumbling within a day...!Asuka pulled out a folder and flipped through its contents in search of something. "Alright, enough shop-talking. On to our Miss Emeral...
Geehhh, this whole thing is strange. Whoever this young lady is, her hormones and anatomy have been
drastically altered even beyond the usual trademarks for her kind. Take a look at these readings, Kelly. I've never seen anything like this before."
Kelly took a printout from her superior and quickly skimmed it. Her eyes encompassed most of her face, so great was her resulting shock. "...Holy...! That's insane! You're saying she's...!"
"Yes, she's physically incapable of having it anymore. Or enjoying it, for that matter... she'll likely just go through debilitating pain if she even tries. Add that to
Green's usual negative effects, and she has all of the drawbacks and
none of the benefits. Look at these X-rays: she's going to be experiencing back pain for her entire life... or until her next transformation, whichever ends first. Far as the Color is concerned, she's incapable of living a normal life now. She can still walk alright and keep herself alive, but if she has any sort of job they'd better let her work from home, because she's not going to get anything accomplished otherwise."
The beeping sped up even more to the point where it started to run together. Marc could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he realized something heavy was sitting where it shouldn't be, and the bulky bandaging that protected several large wounds on his legs and neck from the open air.
Everything that was me is...!"Speaking of the X-rays, did someone write on the printouts? It looks like there's scribbling on the skull..." Kelly squinted at the writing. "Kind of looks like... 'From Ambush Cat with love, you'll thank me later'?"
Asuka shook her head, entirely disconcerted. "I thought so too, so I took a closer look. The writing's on
the skull itself. In permanent marker, no less. Perplexing... I didn't see any scarring on the back of her head that would indicate any sort of past surgery, so how did that writing get there?"
The metaphorical final straw landed on the now-adolescent-and-
female Marcella's back. With a grating, damaged scream that sharply fell into nothing, her eyes rolled up into her head. She passed out, sinking against her pillow with some foam on the corners of her mouth.
...
Kelly gave her zombie counterpart an amused face. "I think she took that pretty well."
Asuka's beaming eyes shone with approval. "Perfect performance, Miss Kelly. A+ all around. I think you're going to fit in here at St. Dogbert's Hospital just fine."
...
Of course there was more to Marcella's transformation than that, but neither of them was going to bring up the postscript that was scrawled across, around and down her entire spinal cord until she was good and ready:
'Be thankful I'm leaving your mind shielded against Green's corruptive influences, but fair warning: antagonize my family and friends again and it won't just be your body that gets permanently rearranged.'/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
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Location: Circe's Manor, primary workshop, 2nd floor
"Lady Circe? Ookalf's here to see you."
Circe didn't look up as she finished weaving several enchantments into a scarlet-colored ballroom gown. "One moment," she called, hands glowing as they moved this way and that. Magic particles drifted off her fingers with each gesture. "Tell him I'll meet him in the lounge in the Southwest corridor."
"Excuse me. I should have clarified what I meant by 'here'," the maid apologized through the door. "I didn't mean 'at the front gate', I meant 'right next to me'."
...$#&%. He means business, doesn't he? "Just a second, Penny. Let me get this wrapped up. This is fairly delicate work... ... ...there we go." The glow transferred from her hands into the dress, where it lingered for a few seconds before dwindling to nothing. "Alright, I'm finished with this one," she stated as she hung it up alongside a half-dozen other outfits, making a mental note to have them transferred to her Shop in the morning. "Send him in."
...
Given that it was her personal workspace it wasn't really meant to hold meetings, though in a pinch a few folding chairs would do the trick. Circe selected one for Ookalf and claimed the executive-style chair from her desk for herself.
"Good afternoon," she greeted him as he entered. "I'm assuming you're here about the failed wedding?"
The tanned and fairly muscular young man took the offered seat. "Yeah, I just heard about it. How are you holding up? Callista didn't go too far this time, did she?"
"I'm doing fine, thanks, but why does everyone out of the loop keep assuming I was traumatized due to 'acts of shopaholic'? I thought I made it clear that I was forced into that marriage."
Ookalf wordlessly held up a smartphone, a days-old news article already on it. The photo accompanying it showed Circe stealing Marc's abandoned limousine with an expression that could melt stone, her ex-bridal party in tow. Behind them was nothing but wreckage.
The sorceress sighed and shook her head disgustedly. "Typical Utsuko... always getting the photos without getting all the facts. I was dwelling on all the time wasted just because I was hypnotized and magically drunk by my own merchandise. Regardless of how it looks..." Circe paused, emotions warring on her face for a bit before she looked down to the side, brows furrowed. "I actually owe Callista, Claire and the rest a massive debt for restoring my senses and livelihood. I'm not upset with them. If I'm angry at anyone, it's
Marc. Whatever Ambush did to him and whatever he turned him into, we've permanently blacklisted him. No entry to the Shop or Eatery, no interactions with me, my staff or Cynth, and
especially no access to the Manor grounds. The restraining order being sent tomorrow should hopefully set that in stone."
"...Oh." Ookalf put the phone away. "Well, now I just feel silly."
Circe waved it off. "Don't be. It's not your fault. Any odds of me getting deliberately involved in romantic undertakings are slim to none, and even if I
did, I'd prefer my first kiss to be from someone I genuinely cared about. As such, I don't see myself tying the knot anytime soon."
The maid Penny's voice cut in from outside the room. "Um, Lady Circe? Didn't Himitsu
steal your first---"
"THAT. NEVER. HAPPENED," Circe warned, making her voice echo. "And unless you want to see if you can clean every bathroom in the building by day's end, do not bring that debacle up again."
Penny's amused and slightly airheaded laughter showed exactly how much she cared about that particular threat, though thankfully she shut up after that. Ookalf sweatdropped, but was smart enough not to comment.
Circe shut her eyes in annoyance as she forced her temper back in line. "The things I put up with for the sake of my staff..." She opened them back up as something crossed her mind. "...Though on a related note I
did include your name on the guest list, so I'm surprised you never RSVP'd. I fully expected you to help Callista's gang on her little crusade."
"I was invited?" Ookalf asked, clearly confused. "I never got any mail to that effect."
Circe idly tapped her chin. "You're positive? I could've sworn..."
"Absolutely. I didn't even know anything had happened until I thought to catch up on the news this morning."
"...Huh." A glance at nothing. "Wonder what happened..."
/-/-/-/-/-/-/
The Machamp-lady stared wide-eyed at the invitation in her hand before pumping her fists jubilantly. "I've been invited to a wedding! No one ever invites me to anything! This is awesome!" She crumpled up the envelope and threw it away, completely missing the name and address that indicated that it wasn't intended for her, and called the Manor at the provided number.
...
"Do we know a 'Mandy Martin'?"
"She's a PFL fighter, I think. Did she get an invitation, Willow?"
"She must've. She knew to call this number and tell us she'd be there. We set up that line specifically for this event."
"...Oh. Eh, it checks out."
...
Doris Sturm groaned and slammed her head into her desk when she discovered the gaffe just before the wedding. "I swear, I'm going to have words with that mail-harpy the next time I see her."
"In her defense, maybe you should've provided us with the guest list instead of just saying 'watch this number in case someone calls'? Not like she's the only one at fault."
"Are you trying to see if I can cry, Willow? You are, aren't you?"/-/-/-/-/-/-/
Ookalf shook his head. "Well, if we're being honest I have my doubts that I would've been able to make it anyway. The Muffinville 500 was this past weekend, and I was forced to help out..."
Circe glared at him. "Ookalf, that's not really much of an excuse---"
"...as a
race queen."The glare was gone. "---but what do I know? One of these days, I'm going to find out why those transformations keep targetting you specifically."
Ookalf chuckled. "If you ever do, let me know. I'm legit curious. ...But yeah, the transformation didn't wear off until last night, and by then I just wanted to get some sleep. This morning was the earliest opportunity I had to check the news in four days."
Circe checked a nearby clock before straightening in her seat. "Well, I have some time if you want to be updated on how the situation went down..."
"Sounds good. Sure."
...
...
...
...
"...In any event, everything's normal now," Circe finished a half hour later. "With Marc's disappearance, the war between the Brotherhood and Forces of Nature is on again, so no surprises there. Ambush's family is back to their regular lives..." She scowled briefly. "...And if you tell
anyone that he recorded my apology to Cynth without me knowing..."
"Wait, he did?"
"...Forget you heard that."
Ookalf made a show of thinking about it. "Okay, but I make no guarantees," he said with a touch of playfulness.
"Ergh... is it too late to go back to when I was actively trying to get everyone to fear me?" Circe tried to sound upset, but her attempt didn't last long. She knew better than anyone that his comment was strictly in jest, and that if he said he wouldn't tell anyone, it was as good as a promise. As such, the best she could manage was a mild frown. "Anyway, Claire's been on an emotional high since Callista legally acknowledged her as her daughter and started keeping in contact with her. Seriously, her hair's been white all this time."
"And that means what?" Ookalf asked, curious.
"In extreme cases, Claire's hair turns either black or white depending on where in the spectrum her emotions lie. Most days she's good at hiding how she feels through a wall of proper manners, but finally having an actual
mother figure in her life tipped the scales. I think I heard her singing while she was working yesterday." She shook her head. "Much as I find it annoying, I can't begrudge her any of it. If it lasts for too much longer I'll tell her to rein it in, but for now I'm just going to let her have this."
Ookalf's face was one for the news. "Wait, so
that's why someone asked me on my way in if I needed earplugs?"
"The halls are alliiive with the sound of music~...!"Circe winced as Claire's lackluster singing reached them from the floor below. "She has many positive qualities. Pretending she's Julie Andrews isn't one of them." She cleared her throat as the song thankfully moved away from them. "Anyway... the Infinite Defense donated funds and supplies to the city to replace everything that the alliance destroyed. The new recreation center will be run by the city of Muffinville itself instead of any major corporation, and steps will be taken to transfer all of Maddhouse's other holdings on over until further notice."
Ookalf was silent for a short time as he fully processed everything that he'd been told. "Sounds like
everyone's been through a lot. Not just you and Claire either."
"Heh... depends on who you ask. Aldonza, Zapana and Ambush's gang all saw it as just another day at the office, though I get why Amber didn't want Ezekiel along..."
"27,000 yen for babysitting?! Why am I just now hearing about this?!""Hahahahaha~!""And that would be Konoko's prank coming to fruition," Circe continued without missing a beat as the walls of reality reasserted themselves. "Chaos and humanity-hating are Missy and Viridi's respective hats, so they didn't care. My maids and those of Marc's workers who
didn't embarrass themselves trying to fight Ellen took the events in stride... I think I even saw a few of them exchanging phone numbers." She took a sip of water from a glass that Penny had brought in mid-discussion. "Callista... everything hit her pretty hard. I called her yesterday to let her know when I'd next be staying in Spamville, but she seemed rather..."
"Depressed?" Ookalf suggested.
"Not quite depressed... more like borderline melancholic. I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with her that didn't have anything to do with shopping or food."
Ookalf cringed. "Is the planet self-destructing? Should I be looking for another portal?"
"Jumping the gun, are we? ... Though I understand what you're saying," Circe hastily corrected herself. "Annoying as she is, I think I prefer her when she's cutting in front of people at the mall."
"I don't know her as well as you," Ookalf admitted, "but even I think that it's worrisome when she starts being 'normal'."
"That it is, but I can't picture it being too much longer. I'll give her another day or two before she's back to her usual self."
"If you say so..."
"Hn." Circe double-checked the time. "So, you satisfied? I have a few more outfits I'd like to finish before I call it quits for the afternoon."
Ookalf stood up, folding his chair up leaning it against the wall. "Yeah, I think I understand how everything went. Want me to find Utsuko and get her to write a correction to her article?"
Circe shook her head. "Don't bother. I've tried that enough times since the Villain of the Year fiasco to know that it's an exercise in futility. She'll figure things out on her own after the truth becomes more widely known."
A shrug and a smile. "Seems fair. See you around and take care, okay? Talk to you again some other time when Muffinville isn't happening."
Circe nodded respectfully. "I will. Same to you."
With that said, Ookalf double-checked his gear to assure himself that he wasn't forgetting anything. After making sure everything was still in his possession, he took a few steps towards the exit---
"Ookalf? One more thing."
The wolf-raised biker hero paused at the door and waited for Circe to gather her thoughts. When she finally spoke, there was a degree of hesitance and awkwardness in her tone. "I know I've said before that I appreciate you giving me space to live my own life, but... thanks for at least coming by to check on me. You... didn't have to. I know how busy you can get sometimes."
Ookalf waved over his shoulder, not turning around. "After everything that happened, what else was I going to do? We
are family, right?"
...
...
Circe listened to his footsteps as they faded, remaining where she was long after she'd shut the door behind him. A few minutes later the distant howl of a motorcycle reverberated back to her, and only then did she allow herself the ghost of a contented smile. "Yes. Yes we are," she said to the air as she returned to her desk, taking her chair with her.
/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
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Location: Unknown and unaffiliated universe, somewhere in Denver, Colorado
It's almost hard to believe that this is only the second time I've ever visited a cemetery.It had been twelve years. This was the world where Callista's life was changed forever, and not always to the good. Right here in this city, a man somewhat prettier in the face than 'Maddy', as Zapana persisted in calling him, but just as ugly in the heart had driven Callista over the edge, leading her to vent her pain to the embodiment of bliss herself.
What a lot of people either forgot or refused to acknowledge was that there was more to Callista than the shopping, the obnoxiousness, the prudishness, and the zest for life. Even discounting the presence of Kaoru and the Copycats, there was a lot going on in her mind. Such thinking only amplified itself after her consumption of one of Raleigh's potions made it clear just how powerful one's brain could really be, especially in environments like the Villes'. When she wasn't relaxing, planning her next raid or otherwise enjoying herself, she would think; and after the events at the failed wedding ran their course, she had reached an epiphany.
Before her feet was a small, slightly weathered tombstone. The two dates on it indicated that the person buried here was 33 years old when he died in the winter of 2008. The news had reported that an escaped convict was sighted fleeing from a Cracker Barrel restaurant one evening, only to be found mauled almost beyond recognition by a pack of wild animals outside of Denver. Only those who were part of the mission to this world---including Raleigh, who knew
exactly how the convict met his end---knew the full truth behind what had happened that evening.
As for
who it was buried here...
"Make no question about it. I've always hated you," Callista said to nothing at all, knowing that she would never receive an answer but continuing to speak. Talking like this made her feel better, anyway. "But recently after speaking with my close friends and family, fighting against your counterpart... it's made me wonder what could have turned you into the monster I faced. What were you like when you were younger? Were you ever a decent kid? What could have led you down that insidious path towards something you could never take back? What was going through your mind when you faced death at the hands of forces you could never hope to understand? ...Did you ever experience any sort of regret for what you did?"
Callista kept one hand on her hood as the mountain winds attempted to yank it off her coat, waiting for them to die down before she continued speaking. "I don't know how much it matters now. I've always hated you, I probably always will, and there's no real way to have those questions answered. But in the end, I feel like I'm finally able to move on to an extent. I can't guarantee that I won't pick up new scars somewhere along the way, but... at least what
you did doesn't have a stranglehold on my life anymore. In a roundabout way, I have you to thank for that."
She reached into her coat, withdrawing a flower bouquet and placing it in front of the tombstone. "Good-bye, Marc Maddhouse. May your eternal sleep be forever pain-free," she murmured. "And if I never hear about you again, that would make me incredibly happy."
Callista stepped away from the grave and sipped from a bottle of Dr. Pepper, staring out at nothing. After a short while she reached into her hood and tapped a clip nestled in her hair. "My business is done here, Captain. Take me back to Spamville, please. ... Oh, and before I forget: initiate Barricade procedures for anyone not a Kittenoan. ...Yes, that includes me. My homeworld's going nuts no thanks to that virus, and until it stops I don't want to be caught in the middle of it." She paused, grinning. "Yeah, I'm
so eating out. You have any idea how many Big Bufords I could gorge on right now?..."
A portal opened next to Callista, and she stepped sideways into it. For a split second as she did so, her shadow seemed to twist into the shape of a snarling cat ready to pounce. Her old namesake, and a part of her life that she intended to hold onto for as long as she lived...
The portal closed behind her, leaving her past where it belonged.
THE END/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
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Barring any supplemental materials, that just about does it. So: final verdict?
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EDIT 11/5/2020 12:51p.m.: Fixed the link to the final song. The original keeps getting blocked, so I have to settle for a fanmade English dub.--
--
EDIT 11/6/2020 12:14a.m.: Edited
again, because somehow I forgot to replace the link. For crying out loud...
