Konoko's Fuku Challenge story

[KonokoHasano]

So I decided to take part in Nikkou's Fuku Challenge story thing. What I did is more or less something that I decided to do for fun and amusement, so if it seems rather 'eh', then oh well. Like I said, it was purely for amusement.

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Long before the time of what is now the Magical Sailor Fuku, the place was relatively mundane. There were not many transformations that took place, and the continent of Muffin was just as typical as any other small city around the world. Its residents lived in general peace, without the needed fear from colors, fruits, or any other kind of medium with which to change the form of a person. Sure, there were exceptions, but most of these involved the rare occasion of a person being changed after leaving the area.

One bright and sunny day, however, when the birds were singing and the flowers blooming, there arrived a girl. This girl possessed pink hair and blue eyes, and she appeared to be no older than 16. She dressed in bright pink clothing, with a pair of black knee-length boots and elbow-length gloves. Upon her head sat a pink conical hat with tiny white wings on either side of it.

This girl, energetic and happy with her face showing a kind of childish excitement, desired nothing more than to try and mingle with the people in the area; it was a new place that she had never been to. As she walked around, she started to introduce herself to the residents with the brightest of smiles that they had probably ever seen.

“Hi!” She greeted as she walked up to a man in a business suit.

The man stared at her for a moment, taking in her rather strange and bright appearance. “Hello.” He answered back simply. If he had to admit one thing, it was that the girl’s energetic behavior was rather refreshing. “And you are…”

The girl placed her hands to her hips and posed with her head held high. “Sakura Eno!” She let out, seemingly rather proud of herself for some reason. “I’m a traveling sorceress attempting to better herself in her abilities!”

The people around her began to whisper at hearing that, and there were even a few that laughed at her proclamation. “Isn’t that cute? She’s pretending to be a sorceress.”

“Isn’t she a little old to be playing pretend, though?”

“Maybe she’s crazy. Should we do something?”

“She’s cute.”

“You run into all kinds, don’t you?”

As Sakura looked around at the people and pouted at their disbelief, the man that she was talking to gave a small chuckle while shaking his head. “A sorceress indeed.” He said. “You certainly have clothes that would make you seem like one, but I’m not fooled for a second.”

“How about I show you, then?!” Sakura asked with hope in her eyes as she clenched her fists in front of her. “If I turn your hair pink, will you believe me?” It’d be such a simple manner to do so.

“Who would have thought that you liked pink?” The man asked in a dry tone. He then gave his head a small shake. “Sorry, kid, but I’ll be late for work if I don’t hurry, so I have no time to be standing here and playing pretend with some little girl.”

“I’m not a little girl!” The sorceress said in indignation. “I’ll have you know that I’m just shy of 2,264-years-old!” Her expression then brightened as she closed her eyes and brought her hands close to her chest, six inches apart from each other. From her lips, there came words that nobody who heard them could really understand.

The man in the business suit was about to say something else, but he halted when he saw a light shining between the girl’s hands. His eyes -- along with many others’ in the area -- widened in witnessing this. “What is-- How did-- This is some kind of trick, isn’t it?” He asked with a confident laugh, a laugh that was shared by others who were skeptical as well.

Sakura didn’t answer the question. All she did was push her hands forward and thrusted the ball of energy into the man, causing his body to glow for a moment before it faded.

“W-- What was that?” The man asked as he took a step back, feeling a little weird after being hit by the magic spell. “What did you do to me?!” He added in a bit of a panic, not having seen or experienced anything like that before.

Sakura smiled brightly. “I changed your hair color to pink!” She instantly pulled out a mirror to show him.

Needless to say, the man was surprised to see that his hair was now a bright shade of pink. “Y-- You’re right. Amazing…” However, as he watched, he saw that it seemed as if his hair was growing longer, and that his facial hair was starting to vanish. “Hey, what’s happening to me?!” His face itself seemed to take on a more feminine look as he felt his whole body grow warm and tingle.

“Huh?” Sakura asked with a blink. As she watched the changes occur, she gave off a huge blush in embarrassment. “Oh no, I messed up in what I was doing again. That’s the 375th time in the last two weeks!”

The man was silent for a long moment after hearing this, watching his hair grow longer until it had reached mid back. He also witnessed, in disturbing curiosity, as his body seemed to re-shape itself as his chest area seemed to expand. “How can you act so casual about this?!” He asked, his voice having become higher as he -- now she -- felt her lower parts get sucked up right into her. “You just turned me into a damn girl, and… wait a moment.” Her hands moved to her chest, and the man-turned-woman gave her breasts a little squeeze as a look of fascination appeared on her face. “Wow, soft…” She said with a blush on her face. “Maybe this won’t be so bad…”

“Don’t do that!” Sakura shouted as she pointed at the woman in a dramatic fashion. “At least not out in public.” Unknown to the pink-haired sorceress, though, her hand started to glow ever so slightly. A second later, a small beam of magic was accidentally shot out of her finger, hitting the new woman. “Oh no! Again?!”

This time, the changes to the woman were on her clothing, changing them to what appeared to be a rather cute Alice in Wonderland-style outfit. “H-- Hey!” She shouted with a blush, having never worn things like this before. “You really are a klutz!” She added with a glare towards Sakura. “Don’t come anywhere near me!”

“B-- But…” The sorceress began as a look of sadness appeared in her eyes. “I want to help. Don’t worry, I’ll return you to normal.” Her hands began to glow, right before shooting out a magic spell.

“I don’t want your help!” The woman shouted as she turned to run. However, she wasn’t quick enough, and was promptly hit by the spell. Instantly, she felt that the world around her was shrinking, but realized that it was because she was getting smaller… and younger. “Ah! This can’t be happening!” She shouted as her features became softer and more childish. “I just wanted to go to work! Today was supposed to be a big and successful day!” She found that she had stopped aging at around six-years-old. Luckily, or unluckily depending on your point of view, the clothing had shrunk with her. “Oh god… oh god…” She chanted over and over again.

“AAAHHH!” Sakura shouted as she held her head. “What did I do?!” Instantly, she figured that the best way to fix it would be by another spell.

Hit by another spell, the man-turned-woman-turned-little girl felt herself changing yet again. This time, though, it felt as if her insides were disappearing and being replaced by something foreign, and she could see her joints becoming more defined, as if she were becoming some kind of doll. Finally, she could feel something appear out of her back; it was a key. Once the changes finished, she found her mind slowly shift a little. Despite mostly being the same mentally, her mind started to look at things from a more childish angle. As her eyes closed, waiting to be wound up, she realized that she had also became obedient to Sakura.

Panicking over what she had done, the pink-haired sorceress picked up the completely transformed man and held her in front of her. “Oh this can’t be good; my sister is going to chew me out big time!”

It was around that time that the shocked crowd came out of their stupor, and what happened afterwards was not a pretty sight to behold. Sakura could hear them speaking about what she had just done, and none of it filled her with happiness.

“See what she just did to that guy?!”

“I’ll bet she was only pretending to be klutzy!”

“Yeah, she must have been planning on doing that all along. I’ll bet she wants to do the same to everyone else!”

“Evil sorceress! Freak! Monster!”

“Get her before she dooms us all!”

“B-- But it was all an accident.” Sakura said with tears in her eyes as she heard all of the words and cruel things being said to her. She winced as a few small rocks hit her in the head. “Ow, stop that!” She shouted as she looked around, noticing that all of the people were surrounding her in a circle.

“You can’t fool us!” Someone said as they all started to close in on the sorceress.

Sakura, feeling incredibly scared about this, yelled out for help. As soon as she yelled, a magic pulse erupted from her and hit everyone around her, causing a variety of different transformations and effects. Noticing this, Sakura started to cry even more as she broke off in a run.

Those who were still able to move around gave chase, managing to pick up even more people along the way. With Sakura accidentally transforming others and causing property damage with her magic due to her troubled emotions, it was rather disturbing to know just how many people could end up chasing after one girl. Many of them even had weapons that they would have no problem with using once they caught up with her.

Ducking down an alley was perhaps a stupid move on her part, because Sakura quickly ran across a dead end, and turning around revealed that the exit was blocked off by an angry mob. “Um-- Uh-- I’m sorry!” She shouted as she closed her eyes. As soon as she shouted, her body started to glow brightly. A moment later, she vanished from the area, causing the mob an untold amount of confusion and anger.

“Find her!” Several people yelled in unison. “She couldn’t have gotten far!”

“Yeah! We’ll teach that evil witch not to mess with us!”


When Sakura next opened her eyes, she found that she was sitting in a darkened storage room, possibly belonging to a store of some kind. Within her hands, she was still holding the deactivated form of the person that she had changed. What made matters worse is that she was unsure of just how she’d be able to change the person back.

“What am I going to do?” She asked nobody in particular. She couldn’t stay where she was, because the people would obviously try to hurt her. That meant that she had to somehow sneak out of the place, but since her emotions were on high, her ability to control her magic would be worse than usual. “And what am I going to do with her?” She added as she looked at the wind-up doll.

An amused voice spoke up from behind her. “Well you’ve certainly been busy causing a lot of mischief as usual, little sister.”

Sakura’s head snapped around instantly, focusing on the crouching form of her older sister. “Ichigo!” She shouted with mixed emotions. “I caused a lot of trouble, didn’t I?”

The woman gave a small nod. She had the appearance of a woman in her late 20’s. Her hair was a deep red. Perhaps the most obvious feature was her eyes, which were a rather eerie yellow. “Yes, you did, but I’m more concerned with just how the people around here initially acted to your accident.” She said with a shake of her head. “Humans can be such cruel things, can’t they?”

Her younger sister gave a small sniff and a nod. “And I just wanted to talk with and get to know people. It doesn’t look like that’s going to happen now.”

“There’s always this one right here.” Ichigo said as she pointed to the wind-up doll-child in Sakura’s hands. “If anything, you’ve made one friend here… even though the circumstances were not what you initially planned. Maybe she won’t really see it at first, but in time, she’ll learn to love her new life.”

Standing back up, Ichigo proceeded to look through the store room. “Still, I think the people here need to have a lesson taught to them. A lesson as to why nobody should threaten to harm my dear baby sister.” Still, there was a question of just how exactly she was going to do it.”

“Can’t we just let them be?” Sakura asked softly.

“They were probably going to end up killing you, what with their emotions and fears of what they didn’t understand being in control.” Ichigo answered as she placed a finger to her chin and hummed. She had just encountered a rather simple-looking girls’ sailor fuku that had been crumpled up behind a shelf and forgotten, if the dust that could be seen on it was of any indication. “Poor little thing. How could you have gotten into such a state?”

Sakura tilted her head. “A girls’ uniform? What are you going to do with that, sis?”

Ichigo merely smiled as she used a little magic to clean the outfit up, right before laying it down on the floor and beginning to do a magical chant. After what seemed like an eternity, the older sorceress finally finished her spell. “There, that should do it. You may now rise.”

Her sister was about to question what she was talking about when the clothing suddenly started to levitate off of the ground, floating there and moving around as if it were alive. “What are you going to do with that?”

“It should be obvious.” Ichigo said with a smile. “This little outfit will go out into the city and find someone to wear it. Once that person does, it’ll possess them and give them the ability to transform someone into just about anything they desire. It’ll be indestructible, so any attempt to destroy it will fail, and it’ll be able to modify its design and coloring so that it could better do its job.”

“Isn’t that going a little too far?”

“Nonsense,” Ichigo answered, “I’m just causing a bit of fun and excitement for this boring and dull place. Someday they’ll thank me for it, but for now, I think we should get going. Your little friend there will need some help getting accustomed to her new life.” With that, the two sorceresses and one wind-up doll vanished from the storage room, leaving the sailor fuku to float there.

Not even a minute later, the door to the room opened to reveal a stock boy. He yawned for a moment as he stepped on into the area, but immediately blinked in confusion at seeing the floating outfit. “What the--”

The fuku attacked, and despite the boy’s struggling, managed to easily force itself onto him and magically replacing his other clothes.

“Get offa me!” He shouted as he tried to pull at the outfit, but found that he couldn’t get a good grip of it for some reason. Almost immediately, he found that his body started to tingle as his hair grew longer and became a light purple color. Once it reached mid-back length, it re-did itself into a pair of pigtails. His body itself proceeded to change, becoming more feminine with a figure no boy should really have, and his chest expanded a little in the process. Once his lower parts were sucked up into him, it became obvious that he was now a she.

Once the physical changes had finished, the new girl found her mind filled with the desire to go out and transform people, perhaps even bringing about a new era for the continent of Muffin.

“Hee hee, sounds like a lot of fun!” She said as she made her way out of the place to perform her new duty.

[shinryou]

I rather enjoyed that... was short but did the job... good work

[muffinstud]

I really only have one complaint about this story, and that is a certain amount of foreknowledge. In order to really understand the story, the reader would need to frequent the forums a bit and get to know the Muffin room (which not all members of the site are willing to do). Normally, that wouldn't be an issue. However, the whole point of the Magical Sailor Fuku story is kinda thwarted by this same issue.

See, the story is meant to introduce people to the site. It's the flagship, that thing that lures people in and is most likely the first thing to which they'll be exposed. As such, someone should be able to just dive into it, and be self-sufficient doing so. Not only that, but it should leave the reader wanting more, encouraging him or her to explore the site. This story, while decent in and of itself, just doesn't do that for me.

[KonokoHasano]

Yeah, I honestly agree that it's a rather sucky story, but I had an idea and decided to just go with it and have fun with it. I could have done better, and I could have put more substance to it in order to make it work with what it was supposed to be, but I ended up going with what I had.

I appreciate the constructive criticism and explaining to me what was wrong with it. ^_^

[Mitera Nikkou]

I am satisfied with the quality of your writing. Though, personally, the story didn't really catch my interest. I was reminded of... certain things. Of DOOM. But it's good for a short story.