Robin (Working title)

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Robin (Working title)

Postby Deathscythe13x » Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:19 pm

This is the finished version of the story I posted before. Well its for all intents and purposes finished. All comments and constructive critism is welcome.

Also since it may be offensive or whatever, I just warn that it might. Probably not, but you never know.

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/17039455/
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Postby Mitera Nikkou » Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:50 pm

Would have replied to this sooner, but the page wouldn't load when I first tried. ^_^; Anyway... The mood and setting were good. But I think how he died should be cleared up a little... Usually, when poisoned, you feel pain somewhere. *Shrugs* not that I'd know to be certain of that. And it really does seem like he's just being disoriented by a drug, and she'll kill him in some other fashion once he's out. I mean, it's obvious he'll die, but not how. That's how I see it, anyway. ^o^;
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned because only women can give two tits for every tat.
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Postby Deathscythe13x » Wed Apr 13, 2005 8:36 pm

I'm going to go back and fix the ending since that seems to be the problem people have with the story. I may also go back and add some more to the main body of the story.

I'm also starting to think about what story to do next.
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Postby Mitera Nikkou » Wed Apr 13, 2005 8:46 pm

Hopefully something with alot of blood and guts. ^_^ I mean, deathscythe13x must hint at something, ne? ^o^
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