A new (sorta) and actually complete (truly) Kerina story

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A new (sorta) and actually complete (truly) Kerina story

Postby Cutey Kerina » Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:02 pm

This is one I began on Oct 23, 2005 and just completed today. People have been pestering me to finish it for quite some time because of the teaser I always give of it that "A girl writes an essay which disproves the existence of the penis."

If I have your attention now, feel free to read on.

The Essay
By Kerina (C) 2005-2006

“Brian! Hi! Could you help me with something? I just got assigned an essay to write in my philosophy class and I picked something I think you can help me with. I just want to hear a few of your thoughts. That ok?â€
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Postby Tabitha Anikerina » Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:34 pm

O...kay...I'm 95% certain this isn't PG-13.

I guess it's true--if you want to make the obvious seem obscure, just let a philosopher get ahold of it!

(BTW, there's no such thing as an "ultra-conservative feminist." Every feminist organization I've ever seen has been liberal.)

Still, the theme of having a burden lifted is a good one to build on. I'm just saying this story needs a good rewrite. You've got a good thing going here--it just needs to be realized.
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Postby Cutey Kerina » Wed Aug 23, 2006 11:31 pm

Steamboat wrote:(BTW, there's no such thing as an "ultra-conservative feminist." Every feminist organization I've ever seen has been liberal.)


Two words - Janice Raymond.

It's moot though, because it's a character's line so it's their thoughts on feminism.

So far as ironing it out. I'm happy with it as it is. I have an idea for an online Bullettin Board style follow up but it's just an idea.

And it is PG-13 - No sex, no profanity. Can't get more squeaky clean than that. One beer is partly consumed and drinking is discussed.
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Postby Tabitha Anikerina » Wed Aug 23, 2006 11:54 pm

Never heard of Janice Raymond...I'll have to look her up later.

Anyway, I thought it wasn't PG-13 because the other stories posted on the main site never mentioned the names of the male and female sex organs. (Or maybe I'm just dumb.)
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Postby Alyta » Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:50 am

Unfortunately, there are plenty of conservative and radical feminists out there, Janice Raymond and SCUM being good examples of them :(

That aside, it was a lovely story, Kerina-chan. It has a pleasant dream-like quality to it, in the way that the change happened and the characters were so accepting of it, but that is to the story's credit. Not every story has to be gritty and totally grounded in reality, and this is a story that simply would not have worked that way. It felt like a pleasant and much needed flight of fancy, and I really loved the imagery of removing the masks and layers of prosthetics to reveal the girl within. Thank you for sharing, Keri-chan ^^
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Postby Mitera Nikkou » Thu Aug 24, 2006 9:19 am

Steamboat:

There's nothing wrong with using technical terms, and there wasn't any playing around with said penis and vagina. The dildo and stuff remained objects as plot devices, and weren't used. You're talking about conservative ratings. ;p

Kerina:

I thought that it was good, and interesting. If it were meant to be based in reality, I would question it (of course). ;p However, I do have a sort of challenge for you, because I am curious about something. If there are only women, then how does reproduction work? Simple enough question, but I'm looking for detailed mechanics. Don't need to answer if you don't want to. I just figured that, since it wasn't covered in the story, perhaps I can understand more about how the people function if their world is like that.

Again, I liked it. ^_^
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Postby Tabitha Anikerina » Thu Aug 24, 2006 11:49 pm

As far as solo reproduction goes, there is a phenomenon in some animals called "parthenogenesis," but it's never been observed in humans (unless you like reading the Weekly World News).

Since there would be no new genes introduced from a male, the baby would (for all intents and purposes) be a clone of the mother.

I first heard about this in Piers Anthony's Xanth novels--it's how some harpies reproduced.
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Postby Cutey Kerina » Sat Aug 26, 2006 3:45 pm

Check out the behavior of the whiptail lizard. The females tend to mount the other females. The implication of the story is that the idea of human sexual reproduction is a myth. A breed in assumption. Then there are parts from Gnostic thought (an idea spreads and grows and cannot be unthought, an idea can set you free...a concept the Matrix swiped).

The coverings of Brian to me was to look at the idea of masks we wear metaphorically as hidden physical masks. It takes quite a leap but I'm unabashed that the story isn't meant to be taken literally is you consider it logically. But there's also the implication that logic is as much as mask as anything else to the truth.

I have a few particular regrets about this story

1 - That I didn't realize Brian as a character better but then I meant to have him subservient to the idea of Beth.
2 - That the character interaction didn't play up as well as I hoped.

Beth I find as something of a detestible character at points. Her boyfriend just went through a life-altering experience and her main thought is, "Heck ya! This is going to get me an A!"

But there are probably more sympathetic elements to her than I probably should've given her.

Brian on the other hand comes across as an emasculated Gregor Samsa to me.

Looking at it, I can see there are things that need to be done.
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Postby Mitera Nikkou » Sat Aug 26, 2006 6:11 pm

Yeah, I know about those lizards. I was just hoping that you would present some new idea, because I like considering new things. Heck, just reading the story made me think of some ideas of my own. XD Otherwise, I don't really know how I'm perceiving the story. On one hand, I'm considering it as, but not basing it in, reality. On the other hand, I'm trying to not take it too seriously, and not question any complexity. *Blinks* I dunno. I can understand the presented ideas, at least.

As for your misgivings with the characters... I can understand, sort of. It felt like they had soul, and I felt that, but it seemed like they were swept to the side to make way for the plot. But it was still good, and I can't say that I come across many writers of TG-related fiction that can manage this much character development.

And don't blame Beth. Maybe she's just a career woman first? :3
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Postby Musashi » Sat Aug 26, 2006 8:38 pm

"I even have a surefire answer for female-to-male transsexuals" I'm still wonderin' about that, though. Cause I asked ya in your LJ, but you never answered, so I figured you didn't get the message or something, so I'm asking here.. XD; *Shrug* Just curious. ^^;
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Postby DarkMonk » Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:33 pm

It all makes perfect sence, I loved it ^_^
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Postby Kumi-chan » Fri Sep 01, 2006 12:19 am

That is very interesting indeed. And very cool. I Like it.
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Postby Cutey Kerina » Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:09 am

Musashi wrote:"I even have a surefire answer for female-to-male transsexuals" I'm still wonderin' about that, though. Cause I asked ya in your LJ, but you never answered, so I figured you didn't get the message or something, so I'm asking here.. XD; *Shrug* Just curious. ^^;


It was a...how do you say...cheat ^^. She had the answer but I didn't have to go ahead and come up with one myself. I do have an answer though, just in case but I need to dig through my notes.
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Postby Tabitha Anikerina » Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:25 pm

In other words, it's just a placeholder until you can think of something better.

That's understandable. You just wanted to get this idea out there (and I'm glad you did, don't get me wrong) and see what could be done to improve it.
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Postby Loremistress Eirien » Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:54 am

Uh, she said it was in her notes.
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