Magical Sailor Fuku

by **Pegasus Knight Florina** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 7:39 pm

Well, here it is... The first chapter to the first fanfiction I have ever written. Please, constructive criticism is more than appreciated, it is desired!

And I know it's short, so you don't have to tell me that. XD

The New Keyblade Master
A Kingdom Hearts fanfic

Chapter one; A Broken Heart

Riku cringed as he watched in horror; Xemnas had Sora, and he was ready to strike the final blow. The nobody laughed, an evil spark in his red eyes. "Look at yourself, Sora. The Keyblade master, the supposed savior of the worlds, at my mercy. It is truly a shame, though... I thought you would put up a better fight. Honestly, your little friend Kairi would have done better than this! Goodbye, Keyblade Master." With that, Xemnas drove his blade deep into Sora's chest.

"Sora!" Riku gasped, his white knuckles squeezing the life out of his keyblade. "Sora, no!" He rushed Xemnas, a foolhardy move, at best, the Way to Dawn at the ready. "Xemnas, you monster!"

But it was too late. With merely a laugh, he dropped Sora's limp form to the ground, watching in amusement as the boy's breathing slowed. "Riku, I am feeling generous today. I will allow you to bring your dear Sora back to the others... They deserve to know, don't you agree?" He chuckled coldly, though it was an empty laugh. "Goodbye, Riku. I'm sure we will meet another day." And he was gone, leaving Riku's agonizing screams of fury echoing through the empty abyss.

The white-haired youth ran over to his fallen comrade's limp form, crystal tears streaming down his face. "Sora... It wasn't supposed to end like this... Why? Why could'nt I save you? I couldn't do anything..." He screamed again, punching the ground with his fist. "Darn it, wake up Sora! You can't die? What about me? What about Kairi? What about Goofy and Donald? Sora, we can't do this without you! Come back, Sora! Sora! SORA!

"Calm down, fool. Didn't I tell you that you could leave?" Xemnas's voice rang through the battlefield as a portal opened beneath Riku. He looked down, recognising the view all too well; it was his homeland, the Destiny Islands, with Kairi and the others eagerly waiting for their return. "You... You heartless beast..." Riku whispered, his sorrow turned to anger.

"You are correct, sir," Xemnas said coldly, and then they were gone.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Do you think they're alright?" Kairi asked worriedly, looking over at King Mickey. "They've been gone an awfully long time... I'm worried."

"Kairi, you've asked me that seven times now. They'll be fine. I'm sure of it!" the King said cheerfully, though even he wasn't so sure any more. So it was a partially-expected surprise when Riku dropped out of the sky, landing on top of Donald... Naturally.

"Hey! Get off of me, you... you..." For the first time ever, Donald was at a loss for words. "Riku." He said simply, staring in disbelief. It was true. Riku stood up, an unconsious Sora in his arms. It WOULD have been believable, if it had not been for Sora's pale alabaster skin and Riku's mortified expression. He shook his head, placing Sora on the ground near Kairi. "I'm sorry, Kairi... He's not waking up." He said simply, letting the tears come again. "Xemnas... That monster let me live... There was nothing I could do..."

"Sora?" Kairi whispered, placing a delicate hand to his ivory cheek, "Sora? Sora, wake up. The fight is over, you can wake up now. Wake up, Sora. Please..." She let out a sob, her long, red hair covering her face as she layed her head on his chest. "Sora... You can't... You can't..." She couldn't bring herself to say it, but she knew that if they didn't do something, then that was exactly what would happen.

"Kairi... Do you love him?"

"What?" Kairi blinked, she wasn't expecting that, especially from someone like King Mickey.

"Kairi, this is very important. So important that it could mean the difference between life and death for Sora. Now, would you be willing to save him, no matter what the cost?"

"Of... Of course..." Kairi stammered, "As long as he comes back... As long as he doesn't... Well, you know..."

"Kairi, this is no physical injury... Sora is not dying, nor is he alive. He just, well, he just is. His heart, his very will and being, has been shattered by Xemnas's darkness. He will not wake up; he will simply stay like this, unless we do something. You see, the only way to cure a shattered heart is by putting it with the presence of another heart. One that it is familiar with, one that has a piece of Sora's heart inside... Kairi, your heart was inside of Sora's. If we put his heart in yours, then it may heal..."

"Are you sure...?" Kairi asked softly, "So we can save him? But... You said, no matter what the cost... What would happen to me?"

"Nothing would happen to you, Kairi. It is what would happen to him. You see, it is impossible to repair a broken heart so that it is exactly how it was before. There's no telling what could happen to Sora if we do this..."

"I don't care!" She said, angry now, "You actually believe that I would be that vain? I love him, and I am not about to see things end this way! Now, let's do this!"

"Okay..." Mickey said uncertainly, summoning the presence of the Keyblade of Darkness. He solemnly pointed the tip at Sora's unmoving chest, releasing a simple beam of white light. Slowly but surely, several multicolored fragments flowed from Sora's form along the white path. The mouse moved his hand slightly, pointing it toward Kairi's chest. Sure enough, the shards began to move more quickly as they were absorbed into the red-haired girl's heart.

And so, life continued... Somewhat normally. Riku went to high school, becoming the star of the Varsity Blitzball team. Kairi got the female lead in the Drama Club's performance of "Romeo and Juliet". However, it was a very empty victory for Kairi since it wasn't Sora playing Romeo. Donald, Goofy, and King Mickey returned to Disney Castle to find an eagerly-waiting Queen Minnie and Daisy. However, the mood was quite solemn when the news of Sora's "death" was announced. A service was held and a memorial built to honor the hero.

Despite Kairi's seemingly normal behavior, it was obvious that she was grieving. Her skin lacked the usual pink luster, and her green eyes were cloudy and dull. She also told Riku of the "second presence" that she felt within her, but Riku just thought she was crazy. "Sora didn't know that your heart was in him," He would reply, "So you wouldn't know, either."

by **Arkain** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 7:46 pm

This may actually, remarkably enough, prove interesting.

Almost perfect spelling and grammar, this clearly isn't your first time.

I'll look forward to further installments... get a Fan Fiction account so I can follow it more easily!

by **Pegasus Knight Florina** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 7:54 pm

Aww, thank you! It actually is my first time, and it took me about three hours to write. I did it as a way to get over the writer's block that's been following me around lately... I'm glad you like it, and I'll go make a fanfiction account right now.

by **Chibi MitchellTF** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 10:14 pm

Only problem I have with it is that lines don't scroll right. It's going past the edge of my screen, so I cannot read it correctly. (Or easily)

by **AnimaVex** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 5:37 am

That... is GOOD!

And... putting it in notepad worked for me.

by **Funny Hat + Funny Accent** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:51 pm

I'll have to agree Mitchell, but otherwise, you did a great job!

by **Arkain** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 9:15 pm

Indeed, Arkain approves this message!

by **Pegasus Knight Florina** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 11:43 am

http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_p ... &chapter=1

Well, there ya go. It has been submitted to Fanfiction.net, and Chapter Two is up! Comments and Constructive criticism welcome!

by **Kyunji** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 7:54 pm

Pegasus Knight Florina wrote:http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_preview.php?storyid=3207995&chapter=1

Well, there ya go. It has been submitted to Fanfiction.net, and Chapter Two is up! Comments and Constructive criticism welcome!

You might want to give us the link to the actual story instead of your personal previewer. No one will be able to access that link.

by **Pegasus Knight Florina** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 8:53 pm

>.< Oh. XD *goes to fix*

EDIT

I can't find anything but the preview. Anyone got a link?

by **Kyunji** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 9:49 pm

Pegasus Knight Florina wrote:>.< Oh. XD *goes to fix*

EDIT

I can't find anything but the preview. Anyone got a link?

Chances are that you've just uploaded the file as a document and have not yet converted it to story format. Click on the "Stories" link on the left side your user control panel on fanfiction.net, agree to the Terms of Service if you haven't already, and click on "New Story" on the upper menu bar. From there, the process should be self-explanatory; I hope so, anyways, as I've never had to upload a story there before and I'm operating based off of what I see in the control panel.

When you've done that, you will either get a link to the story (in the format

Code: Select all: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/[six digit story ID number]/[chapter number]

) or will have to find it yourself. In the latter case, just grab the link from your profile.

by **Shadowmaster** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 9:59 pm

Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Shadowmaster has found the link.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3207995/1/

Have a good read everyone.

by **Funny Hat + Funny Accent** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 3:02 am

Hurray!

Magical Sailor Fuku

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