by Mitera Nikkou » Thu May 10, 2007 4:43 pm
No, there is a difference between being alive and living. Someone can be dead yet technically, in the biological sense, still be alive.
It is true that how we live is something that we ourselves must perceive and pursue however we wish, but living rarely lives up to our expectations. We get so little time, with limited options that vary from person to person due to the circumstances that surround us, and things tend to come and go before they can really be savored or appreciated.
There are so many that end up choosing to make a living doing something that they don't like because it was among the better of their options, the kind that provides a stable means of staying alive or pursuing some way of living. But is that really living... Spending your life, a limited experience of changes, unable to attain or even pursue what one really desires. Within realistic boundaries, of course.
I don't think that death really matters; the "end" of our time, that is. Life, or existence, is summed up as an undetermined period of constant change. Everything changes at some point, but humans tend to have a desire to achieve a state of consistency, or constance, that lasts for as long as it would be worth their while. The problem is that many have gotten the idea that their ultimate desires, the ones that they would like to become reality above all other things, are things that only a limited amount of people can achieve whether or not it's due to a true lack of supply due to rarity or because so many reach out for the same thing that something in great supply can be overwhelmed by demand.
And even then I question many of the ideas that people consider to be a necessity for living. I, for example, don't see what's so special about mansions, yachts, cars and other such things. I don't even see what is so special about money, other than the imposed uses that are enforced by the common ideas that keep it around in the first place. People don't need money... They've just come to believe that they do, after they set themselves up with it.
Anyway, my silly ideas aside... There are some people that are willing to go through a lot of personal trouble, pain and suffering just for a small taste of how they desire to live. No matter how hard, or seemingly impossible, they strive to pursue for that which would allow them to feel alive. My question is this: do you think that it's worth it? I ask myself this question often. In a sense I am able to attain a little bit of what I'm after but, while at times I feel as if I'd collapse at any time, at other times I feel like I could go on forever. Whether or not that's due to my stubborness, I'll never know... I just don't know if it's worth doing anything, even if it's just to pass the time, if I don't even know how I'm living. Perhaps that's what I should expect from being selfish despite how that makes me selfless.
...
Yeah... Something like that.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned because only women can give two tits for every tat.
♥
Seriously.
