by muffinstud » Wed Jul 30, 2008 3:18 am
Cletus wedges the necks of his two closest roommates into his elbows and drags them down to the tavern. One is the kid he spotted earlier picking his nose. The other is a scrawny, depressed looking kid with long bangs on one side.
"So, what'll it be?" asks the bartender.
"Five pints, my good man. One each for them and three for me!" Cletus gives off a hearty laugh.
"Marmalade!" shouts Nose-Picker.
"But I don't drink," eeks out Side-Bangs.
Cletus gives the boy an odd look and squeezes his neck a little harder. "Then start. Now."
Side-Bangs sighs. "My father died because of alcohol," he mutters, a tear starting to form.
"Chalkboard!" toasts Nose-Picker with his newly aquired beer-skin.
"The overgrown Hobbe is right." Cletus lets go of Nose-Picker and grabs a skin of his own. "You need a proper teacher. Me!"
With that, Cletus plugs Side-Bangs nose and starts pouring golden liquid down the kid's throat.
"Nothing like a hands on education, eh friend?" Cletus chuckles.
"Dogpaddle!"
"Well, you'll have plenty of time to live in a van down by the river, when you're living...in a van down by the river!" --Matt Foley, motivational speaker