I tried to get the two stories to fight to the death to determine which one I would finish, but they would not comply.
So their fate is in your hands:
1) "Oh Uber, I adore your D&D story from the post above and I'm really wondering where exactly you are going to be taking it beyond the obvious - give me more give me more!"
2) "Oh Uber, your alternate DNA mutation world is so much more plausible and delightful than the thousands of other identical worlds it rips off of - give me more give me more!"
3) "Oh Uber, I love them both so much that I cannot ever possibly choose, I spurn your request for a decisive decision and demand both of them - give me more give me more!"
4) "Oh Uber, would you just stop it with the new stories and finish some of the other ones, or perhaps write sequels or short oneshots, that's what I really want - give me more give me more!"
5) "Oh Uber, you are such a pretentious jerk, not only do I not think you are smelly and your stories stink, but I ignore these boards so much that I'm not even reading this post, I survive on RP & Muffinboard Shenanigans & Captions & Things - give me more give me more!"
6) "Oh Uber, don't you know that people always pick the last nonsensical choice of not choosing anything, even if you do not list it? I exceed the bounds of your puny array!"
Anyways, here ya go with the other one ;p
Evolnewtion
Part One: Anasterion's Story
Chapter One: Prelude
The scientists said that global warming would make the polar icecaps melt. They said it would endanger vulnerable species the world over. They said it would raise the ocean level, and that it would cost the global economy trillions of dollars.
They never mentioned that it would turn me into a girl.
I suppose I should start at the beginning.
My name is Anasterion, and I was one of the first people to change, although I didn't know it at the time.
You see, it wasn't really just the global warming, the increased solar radiation was just sort of a catalyst that helped speed up the genetic mutations. The real problem was that the human species had finished evolving. Literally.
We had come a long way from our time as chimps, and every step of the way our genes were tweaking themselves, making us stronger, faster and smarter. However, when you get right down to it, on that fundamental genetic level, there was only so much material to work with. We had pretty much done everything with it that we could.
Some scientists think it was a hardcoded response in our genetic code, but no one really knew for sure. Suddenly, overnight, our genetic material responded to the dead end it had reached in its ability to evolve by changed itself. The solution was simple: Our DNA cloned itself, several times over, creating parallel redundant strands.
No one noticed anything at first, because all the spare DNA was simply copies of the original and didn't alter any cellular functions. However, there was one important change made... the redundant versions were highly susceptible to mutation from external stimuli.
Some people had more new DNA than others, and thus were prone to a wider range of changes, and some people were less susceptible to change than others, and thus changes more slowly... but in the end, everyone in the world would be changed to some extent. Some would become freaks of nature, while others would remain “normal” but have an immunity to cancer or some other ailment... Darwin's invisible hand and the course of generations of natural selection would determine what was kept and what was discarded.
In the meantime, though, it was chaos. The first mutated neohumans were trucked away for science experiments, but it didn't take long for the scientists to see what had happened. When they discovered that everyone was at risk and the outcome was unpredictable, there was anarchy. Some governments didn't make it through that first tumultuous period.
I can't even begin to explain all the horrible things that happened, since they were all over the world my one viewpoint could never show you the full scope of things. The world would never be the same, but after just over seven years of upheaval, things almost felt calm.
Your next-door neighbour was half cat, so you dealt with it. You grew burning sores when exposed to sunlight, so you moved underground. People coped, in no small part thanks to our technology and other advances. If these genetic mutations had happened to any other species, they would have become extinct in a generation. But we adapted.
For seven years I remained normal but had my life change around me.
For seven years I was lived in fear of what changes might happen to me when they finally came.
Until the day when I discovered that the changes had already occurred, and had only been biding their time...
And that is the story I have to tell you.
(To be continued)
Aside from being a dramaking, I tidied up some of my other stories and spellchecked them a bit. Pretty pointless given that anyone who would ever read them has already read them, but oh well.