Needing to recover

[Marky]

Tonight, at the very least, I don't know if I'll be able to post anything, at all. I look in some of the threads in the free-from rp, and I get nothing...absolutely nothing. No motivation to post, no drive to post, at all.

The reason probably is, because, earlier today, I, for the third time this semester, failed a Differential Equations exam. And, even though the lowest one is dropped, my 2nd lowest wasn't much better than my lowest (10 and 19, respectively.) This one, I THINK I did better than that, on...but, hell, in college so far, any time I actually think I do better/my best, I rarely do. There's only been two exceptions, and they were in Math classes, Calc 2 last year, and, believe it or not, Differential Equations this year. What's so different? Good question. I don't really know...but, I guess when a teacher teaches out of a different book than last semester, and such, I guess it really affects me, a lot.

Anyways, due to probably having an F, as I doubt my homework+those two highest exams average is greater than 40, I am severely depressed tonight. I may, later tonight, try again and see if I can post, but, I highly doubt it. Will this carry over into tomorrow? Hopefully not, but, you never know. The thought of what my parents will think of me is also weighing on my mind, cause...well, I'm not used to being on this end of the grading spectrum. In high school, I finished with a 3.9333333 average. Only in two classes, one semester each, did I have an average of less than an A. Although, after an A became a 93-100, I was still left with 1, a 92.

Now, here in college, I've yet to have an A-, much less an A. ((And, actually, an A- was only available starting this semester, as it was just an A beforehand...)) I've had a couple of B+, but, I've had more B's-C's than I ever would have imagined. After getting a D+ in Differential Equations last semester...((damn heater during the damn final was making a noise every two damn minutes, breaking my concentration every damn time I tried to work on the damn problems...))

And, seeing the mood that I'm in, now, I think it might be best if I did just take the night off. Tomorrow, still up in the air, but, I doubt I'll be able to not be online during the afternoon. So, hopefully, I won't be too far behind in things, but, I probably will be taking the night off, at the very least.

[Rodney]

Hi,

I want to tell you I perfectly understand such reasons for not posting. MSF is a leisure and even if it's a great one, it should not predate on that annoying world called real-life.

Somehow I can relate to your experience as I experienced switching from top of the class to the lowest grade in all major topics. It happened because I changed school and the level required got suddenly much higher.
I used to be a student that almost never needed to work much, I sat, listened to the teacher and almost everything registered instantly. Discovering that I needed to work a course at home before I could understand it was very unpleasant. What was most unpleasant was not being the guy to whom people came to ask for advice for homework anymore.

It was demeaning in the sense that it casted a shadow on everything that I had accomplished before. People around me could work out the exams I couldn't.

I was like, did the Game Master decided to turn me into a stooopid bimbo ? Oh my god, maybe I've always totally been a bimbo to start with. Like,

Ahem... So out of pride, I didn't ask for any help at first,
I kept on working on my own, depressing alone in front of a blank page, not understanding what was in the book. That was not the brightest move: sure it had worked in the past when when I dealed with small school difficulties but I learned latter that when faced with huge problems, obstination doesn't always suffice : you also need allies.

I don't know how you are working but here is a trick that did it for me : By finding serious people that wanted to struggle together, doing exercices together over and over again and explaining each others the part of the class they didn't understand, I was able to improve a lot faster than I could ever have on my own.

You could also find a Teaching Assistant and work with him/her. In some universities, those guys are PAID to wait
in their office for students to come and ask for more explanation, try and get some info to see if one is available, then pick an exercice from a book, attempt to do it, highlight the parts where you fail and go to see him and ask questions.

Finally, here is a little idea for fighting the depressing feeling of getting bad grades :
Take it as the opportunity to show what you got : You couldn't show it when you were a 3.9 student, it was just too easy for you. Now that the bar has been raised, sure it's going to be harder than what you were used to, and maybe it will need different solutions, but now you can shine. And most significantly, you can experience solving a bleak looking situation : that's a priceless life skill you're learning.

[Rodney]

Also the MIT Opencourseware has free video courses on differential equations and a variety of related topics.

Go to http://ocw.mit.com
Type in the search box: 'differential equations'
Select the first seach result 18.03 Differential equations

You now have access to 33 complete video lectures. FOR FREE !

[Marky]

Wow, thanks Rodney. I did start feeling a bit better by the end of last night, but, now, seeing that someone else has gone through what I have, it makes me know that I'm not alone in this, by far.

Thanks, and, yeah, pride was also a downfall for me this semester. I didn't ask for help until it was nearly too late to even drop the course. ((although, I couldn't cause I couldn't find a 1 hour class to put in for the second half of the semester so I could drop. Can't go below 12, and I would've had 11 if I had dropped it.))

What sucks, though, is that I tried asking for help from some of the smartest people in the class...yet, I never got a response in the e-mail I sent him.

My main problem with this one, is the professor, and the fact that we're using a different book than last semester. The book is small, but thick, and it just seems stupid to me that a different book is used. And, another thing, and my main trouble, is going from his notes to the problems in the book. I still say I got stuck with a crappy teacher this semester. ((What does it tell you when over 20 of 40 or so students in two classes drop the course before the deadline?))

Anyways, along with the depression of yesterday, I needed to vent my frustrations out as well. Sorry for that, all. I'll probably be back to posting this afternoon.

And, by the way, Rodney, that link doesn't work.

[Rodney]

The link was wrong.

It's http://ocw.mit.edu
not a .com

[AmbushCat]

Differential Equations...I'm assuming that's a math course? Ugh.

All throughout school, from elementary on up through college, math was always my worst subject. Double-digit multiplication in 4th grade, fractions in 6th, elementary algebra in 8th...the list goes on, topping off with a trigonometry course my final year in college before we moved here. An online course, for the most part; I think we only met about once a week or so. Double points for frustration, and it was only because I had my dad's help that I was able to get as high as I did.

[Marky]

Well, thing is, Math was actually one of my better subjects, usually...then again, it was kinda hard as to say which subject was my worst, at times, with my grades. XD But, yeah, Math seemed easy to me in high school, but when I got to Calculus and such, things just went downhill from there...

[Marky]

Well, what I feared, has become a reality. I made an 18 on my last exam, giving me an exam average of 18.5. Even if my homework grade was at 40/40 (which it isn't), I would still automatically get an F. So, therefore, as of earlier today, I've been completely out of it, and definitely not in the right from of mind to post (or to even be online, for that matter). Might see what I can do after relieving some of my angst and all of that in a little bit. If I am still in this frame of mind, expect me sometime tomorrow, then, probably...hopefully.

[AshK]

Hope you recover soon. All of us will miss you. Just take your time.

[Ookalf]

Ouch. Hope ya feel better soon, man.

[Bladeron]

Take your time and do what you need to do. We'll be here if we can help.

[Marky]

Alright. I think I'm better now. Key word...think. Sorry if I inconvenienced anyone over the past week. I've noticed my rp quality has taken quite a hit during this time period, as Caprice has pointed out to me on occasion.

Anyways, going to try and catch up with the forums in a little bit.

Hopefully something like this won't happen again.

[Lanzerus]

don't worry man, I was gone for two mourning my Ex-Future uncle who died...then I took a massive dip in grades because of the feeling depressed for myself, so I had to take another week to fix the issue, so yeah...don't worry, MSF is all leisure, do it when you want to.

[Marky]

Dang man...no wonder you were gone. I wouldn't have blamed you for doing so. Glad to have you back, though. And, yeah, I think I'm good now...except for the obvious screwing the hell up of my schedule this is causing...

[Lanzerus]

XD Yeah, schedules...cause problems...thats why I just don't use one, I remeber what I need to know and when I need to know it, or wait...where i need to go and when I need to go there...right?