Announcer: Today on cooking with Burnt Toast!
<The Scene shows the world famous Chaijin/Chibi chef Burnt Toast engaged in an epic duel with a giant black squid. The squid, armed with a plethora of cooking implements attempts to slice and dice Burnt Toast who is armed with a humble whisk!>
Announcer: Burnt Toast shows you the secrets of preparing the elusive killer Death Squid into a tantalizing twelve course dinner!
Burnt Toast: The first step to cooking Death Squid is overcoming your Mollusk in single combat! While normally this might seem like a daunting task I will share with you lucky viewers the secrets to preparing this prized dish! First and most important, maintain constant eye contact with the squid. Do not, I repeat, do not let him evade your gaze as the creature is a dangerous killer capable of cleaving the flesh from your bones with its bare hands. Vigilance viewers! Constant vig-WOAH!
<The squid throws three of its knives at the chef, who nimbly dodges. The weapons instead hit the camera man causing the screen to go to static>
<<TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE STAND BY>>
A picture of a monkey with a wrench and a banana appears on screen. Seconds later it is interrupted by an emergency news update. A buxom brunette newscaster appears onscreen!
Newscaster: We interrupt this program to bring you this breaking news update! Sightings of a strange giant creature has been spotted wreaking mass havoc and destruction in the downtown area. We now go live to reporter Rachael Smith who is at the scene.
<The scene shifts to a petite red head standing in the middle of Muffinville Park. In the distance, the giant monster can be seen wreaking havoc!>
Rachael:Thank you Trisha. As you can clearly see it appears that a giant monster is attacking the city. Local law enforcement groups have been dispatched to the scene but they appear to be clearly outmatched.
<A police car is suddenly flung in the direction of the reporter. The news crew scream and duck for cover as the camera goes to static>
Trisha: Thanks Rachael for the update. In the meantime local residents are advised to stay indoor until the Kaiju threat has been properly dealt with.
<The scene switches back to the kitchen in which Burnt Toast appears to have somehow subdued the squid and is now boiling it in a pot>
Burnt Toast: ....And that is how you defeat a Death Squid. For our next step we....