Undecided.

[AmbushCat]

I haven't really figured out yet what I want to do, but I'm seriously considering taking a long vacation from both MSF and the Temple. I've been rather depressed recently, and for some reason both places haven't been as fun for me as they used to be.

I know at the very least, I want to take my annual MSF break beginning towards the end of March. That way, I can avoid the fallout from April Fool's Day.

[Zilla]

If there even will be an April Fools' Day this year.

I know we don't talk much, but I would like to hear your story...

[AmbushCat]

I suppose. What would you like to know? About why I've been less than stellar recently, or...?

[Helel]

If there even will be an April Fools' Day this year.

There'll be an April Fool's Day like every year. It's more a question if we feel motivated to do anything on it. I know last year I hilariously got into an accident, so the motivation sorta disappeared with that. But the year before that (with the Gurren Lagann nonsense) was largely a last minute, spur of the moment sort of thing, which if we did do something, would be the case again.

The more you know. *shrugs*

[AmbushCat]

All the more reason for me to clear out by then. I don't take practical jokes very well.

[Zilla]

I just wanted to know why you're feeling down, what's going on with your life and such.

[AmbushCat]

Well, during my early years on the Internet (and at school to a lesser degree), I was somewhat of a jerk. I've made a concerted effort since then not to act that way to others, but it has become easier for me to break down if I'm exposed to either dark/depressing material or things that only seem that way to me. Anything that I perceive as a personal offense does much the same (usually after I've had the chance to smother my anger).

In part because of some negative stuff that was floating around my usual hangout the past month or two (amongst other things; I don't want to mention any names), it kinda sapped my eagerness to do stuff online.

I rely heavily on humor and upbeat music to keep my mind's thoughts from going dark, so I try to view those as often as I can. If it works out, I can recover given enough time.

[Zilla]

Ah, I see... I wonder if you're dealing with things okay... this sort of "boom-bust" cycle may not be good in the long run. Are you compensating for aggressiveness with passiveness? I suppose it's good to see both sides of the spectrum before the middle way is found...

It does sound like it's something that's been going on for a while.

[AmbushCat]

Yeah, that sounds about right. I've always been rather easy to rile up, as most of my classmates can testify to... ()^_^ ...but I don't really think my behavioral patterns as they are now settled into place into after I graduated from high school roughly ten years ago.

[AmbushCat]

Well, now I'm undecided as to whether or not to take a break for an entirely different reason. I haven't felt right the past week or so, and I know that it's not the flu or a fever.

How do I know this? I deliberately delayed my dinner for three hours as of this post. Dad had gotten me a soft-shelled taco from Taco Bell, and while I'm not overly fond of their selection, I'll still eat it if there's no other alternative. But as it is, I had no desire to eat anything until now--- and those who know me know that I'd gladly launch a refrigerator raid given half a chance.

[Marky]

Ah. Hope you're not coming down with anything. I haven't even tried posting anything lately cause I've had a sinus infection (and now have an ear infection, to boot!). I'm really just now feeling like getting back into the swing of things and trying to post. Having today off also helps that.

Either way, hope you get to feeling better, and if you feel you just need to step away for a few days to recover, go ahead.

[Kumi-chan]

You are not the only one with such feelings. I myself have had such feelings recently. It wasn't the lack of fun ideas or TFs just the lack of follow through. I do take some of the blame for that myself. But seems like when I am here, or on the IRC, I am bored out of my mind. Then I get into something else. Games, drawing, TV/anime. Then when people are around I am too busy with my own things.
Plus my anger and aggression is right there with me constantly. I tend to try to keep such things in check but I cannot control myself most of the time anymore. Just try not to let things get you down.

[AmbushCat]

I'll try not to. Thanks to you both. *appreciative nod*

[Zilla]

You are not the only one with such feelings. I myself have had such feelings recently. It wasn't the lack of fun ideas or TFs just the lack of follow through. I do take some of the blame for that myself. But seems like when I am here, or on the IRC, I am bored out of my mind. Then I get into something else. Games, drawing, TV/anime. Then when people are around I am too busy with my own things.

Exactly this. I didn't even really realize it until you said it, but that's the case for me too.

[Kumi-chan]

Part of me is self analyzing. SO I am aware of my actions.