Episode I: Fleeing from Potential Child Abuse...Because seriously, who keeps their kid in the back of a moving van, anyways?
I start my journey by stepping out of the back of a truck full of heavy, obnoxious boxes - it's a wonder that I wasn't crushed alive, considering both the fact that they did not appear to be restrained at all and that each one was at least as large as me. Regardless, I make it out, where I am promptly greeted by my mother. She is rather cordial with me - I suspect that she was merely concealing her disappointment at the fact that I had not been crushed by the moving boxes. Perhaps it was best to get out of there quickly... The usual game-starting shenanigans ensue - set the clock, meet the rival (His name is Brendan, and his hair doesn't make any sense at all), and set out to greet the world!
Apparently it's a hat, though I have my concerns. I'M ONTO YOU, BRENDAN.
Unfortunately for me, one does not simply leave Littleroot Town. Apparently there was some sort of crisis just outside of the sleepy little place, and as the resident protagonist it was my job to clean things up. Figures.
Sure enough, I find this game version's resident professor being cornered by a wild Pokemon as soon as I advance to the next area. Now, I realize that Pokemon are nothing to be toyed with - honestly, if you happened across a hungry Charizard while walking down a road, you'd flip out, too - but to my utter disappointment I find this guy being cornered by the Pokemon equivalent of a hungry raccoon.
OH GOD OH GOD WHAT DO WE DO
The victim of the vicious(?) attack yells for me to get a pokeball out of his pack and do battle with the fierce beast. Resisting the powerful urge to laugh my face off, I go to the bag in question and pick my first companion of this long journey.
Meet Blaze, the elementally confused Treecko.
As soon as I pick my new companion, I'm thrust into battle with the adorable raccoon creature, which is promptly beaten to a pulp in a solid fifteen seconds. With that out of the way, we take care of a few administrative issues back in Littleroot and I'm off on my grand adventure! ...Though honestly my only motivation at this point is to flee my potentially homicidal mother. Oh, well - beggars can't be choosers.
Before long, I've downed a couple of wild Pokemon, gained a few levels, and made it to a place called Oldale town. According to the single sign in the village, the town motto is "Where things start off scarce".
...Seriously? The heck does that even mean? Not to mention the fact that the town is apparently named after some well-aged booze that the founder no doubt drank the same night that he came up with that absurd saying. But I digress. I make a beeline for the local Pokemart in search of some spare Pokeballs... Only to have the game slap me in the face.
To me, this is the Pokeworld equivalent of a Radioshack running out of AA Batteries. Honestly, what kind of store manages to be completely out of stock of an item that has been in constant universal demand since the beginning of this entire universe for all we know? I answer my question very quickly - a store that is a part of a global monopoly, of course. I'd seen this before - it was a racket, there was no doubting it. They thought they could manipulate the supply of Pokeballs and take advantage of the innocent, hard-working PokeProletariat, did they? Well, I would show them in short order!
...Except not. This wasn't my first Rodeo - I had to go fight my rival or something to trigger the Pokeballs and let me progress. So I continued North, seeking my first big confrontation. Brendan, for what its worth, didn't even seem to notice my existence, let alone the fact that we were rivals. I'll admit, I was a little insulted.
Honestly? You clearly don't know how this works.
Imagine his surprise when I promptly abused his miserable little Torchic and won my first real fight (sort of? ...no, not really). Suddenly, he was very interested in what I had to say, claiming to have a special eye for talent and saying that I was something special according to his prime authority.
Flattery will get you nowhere, Brendan.
On his suggestion, we head back to the lab in Littleroot, where we are each given a Pokedex. It is at this point that I question Nintendo's ability to change literally anything about their storytelling procedure. I mean, I guess you don't fix what isn't broken, but coming from a company renowned for its innovation I'm more than a little disappointed. Honestly it wasn't that big of a deal, but I was more than a little irritable, waiting for my darn Pokeballs so I could make a new friend.
Brendan must have been reading my mind, because he forks over a handful of the little orbs just as I'm leaving the lab. I question his motivation, but I'm certainly not complaining. It was time to get the heck out of this town and go adventuring! However, something - or someone - stood in the way of my departure.
Could this be it? Could my journey be over before it began?
I'm onto you, woman. Cut to the chase before I make a break for it.
I could not for the live of me reason the motivation behind this 'gift'. Surely there was some sort of deception involved... But I could not tell, and I don't think her name was Shirley. Anne, perhaps? She looked like an Anne. Regardless, running shoes in hand (on feet?), I bolted for freedom. She did not pursue, but she did watch with a knowing smile... A very uncomfortable look in her eyes.
I didn't stop running until I hit the road out of Oldale.
End Episode I
