It's Mallvel, Baybee

[Raleigh]

Eh, well the offer stands all the same.
*****
*Restores the employee's head to its body.* There, feel better now?

[Whatevr89532]

Whatevr nods to Raleigh and, seeing Callista's further antics, decides to try and get more entertainment from those. "Hmn..." He pulls out a clipboard with a full-sized piece of notebook paper and then a pencil, and starts rapidly jotting something down on it, eventually crumpling the whole thing up into a ball and tossing it behind himself. The result is the instant sprouting, tree-like, of a very flashy storefront labeled "MEGA DISCOUNT STORE". On the windows are various gaudy things plastered with words like "SALES ON SALE!" "50% OFF 50% OFF!", "BUY THREE 'BUY ONE GET ONE FREE'S, GET A FOURTH FREE!", "30% OFF 20% OFF 10% OFF 1% OFF 1% OFF .01% OFF .001% OFF..." (the rest is unreadable due to being in increasingly small text), "TAX INCLUDED IS TAX FREE!", etc. The actual contents of the store are tags which, when attached to an existing item in any store, attempt to enchant the relevant item to suddenly be on the advertised sale. A cloaked being with one visible glowy yellow eye stands at the front counter.

[AmbushCat]

Eh, well the offer stands all the same.
*****
*Restores the employee's head to its body.* There, feel better now?

Duly noted. *shrug* It was alright seeing you again, I suppose.

-----

Employee: Much. Thanks, man. *gets up and walks off, grumbling to herself about obsessions*

Whatevr nods to Raleigh and, seeing Callista's further antics, decides to try and get more entertainment from those. "Hmn..." He pulls out a clipboard with a full-sized piece of notebook paper and then a pencil, and starts rapidly jotting something down on it, eventually crumpling the whole thing up into a ball and tossing it behind himself. The result is the instant sprouting, tree-like, of a very flashy storefront labeled "MEGA DISCOUNT STORE". On the windows are various gaudy things plastered with words like "SALES ON SALE!" "50% OFF 50% OFF!", "BUY THREE 'BUY ONE GET ONE FREE'S, GET A FOURTH FREE!", "30% OFF 20% OFF 10% OFF 1% OFF 1% OFF .01% OFF .001% OFF..." (the rest is unreadable due to being in increasingly small text), "TAX INCLUDED IS TAX FREE!", etc. The actual contents of the store are tags which, when attached to an existing item in any store, attempt to enchant the relevant item to suddenly be on the advertised sale. A cloaked being with one visible glowy yellow eye stands at the front counter.

*There's a long pause that lasts about a minute... and then reality itself shudders under an onslaught of joyful, high-pitched cackling. Sounds like someone found the mother lode.*

... Le Sigh.

*Risk tosses a 20-sided die onto the rooftop, watching as it lands 17-up. The fabric of a reality settles down two seconds later.*

[Whatevr89532]

Whatevr smiles at the effect and waits to see what happens in the store. "Out of pure curiosity, what happens if you try to do something like that and roll a 1?"

[AmbushCat]

*Running, assorted "battle" cries, and rummaging noises can be heard inside the store. Just as Callista went to town in one store, she seems to be doing the same in the other.*

----

I can sum it up in two words: "Critical Failure". No effect whatsoever. Since my powers are designed to guarantee an impact on reality at its deepest levels, though, they tend to give me at least a '2' or better. Generally, it only gives me a '1' if some higher power thinks the situation warrants a laugh.

[Raleigh]

Good thing there aren't many of those around. Whatevr, if she tries to use those tags in my shop I'll be coming to you to make up the difference in price.
****
Raleigh in the shop: Well seems that I'm not needed down here anymore. *Disappears in a shower of pop rocks.*

[Whatevr89532]

Whatevr puts up his arms. "It's not my store, I just invited it over. The owner's at the front counter. But fair enough anyway, I have a few good sources of income."

The glowy-eyed owner continues to stare straight forward dispassionately, seemingly not bothered by Callista's antics. There also don't seem to be any other staff in the store to be particularly bothered by all the noise.

[AmbushCat]

Good thing there aren't many of those around.

Not many of 'what' around, Raleigh?

The glowy-eyed owner continues to stare straight forward dispassionately, seemingly not bothered by Callista's antics. There also don't seem to be any other staff in the store to be particularly bothered by all the noise.

*It isn't long before Callista turns up at the counter, one of each type of tag in her hands. Without ado, she slams them all onto the counter.*

Callista: *roars* RIIIINGGG MEEEEE!

[Whatevr89532]

The being at the counter makes a motion with its head that resembles nodding, and turns its eye toward the pile of tags. The eye glows slightly brighter, and a yellow version of one of those square-with-a-cross-in-the-middle scanner gun laser things shines over the whole pile for a few seconds, followed by an audible 'bee-beep' from somewhere near his chest area. Turning the eye back to Callista, it says "Curren-cy of choice please" in a vaguely robotic, stilted tone. "We ac-cept gold, sil-ver, other forms of prec-ious metal, or sub-stitute bills of such. And souls or par-tial souls."

[Raleigh]

Beings that could force you to roll a one, Risk.

Good point but I figure you'll have an easier time finding his shop if you can call it up than I would. Traveling shops like that can be hard to get back to after all.

[AmbushCat]

The being at the counter makes a motion with its head that resembles nodding, and turns its eye toward the pile of tags. The eye glows slightly brighter, and a yellow version of one of those square-with-a-cross-in-the-middle scanner gun laser things shines over the whole pile for a few seconds, followed by an audible 'bee-beep' from somewhere near his chest area. Turning the eye back to Callista, it says "Curren-cy of choice please" in a vaguely robotic, stilted tone. "We ac-cept gold, sil-ver, other forms of prec-ious metal, or sub-stitute bills of such. And souls or par-tial souls."

Callista: How much in American dollars?

Beings that could force you to roll a one, Risk.

Right, that. Sort of wish I could say we planned it, but you already know that we prefer to be beneath their notice. Makes it easier for us to live our lives as we want.

[Whatevr89532]

"I could also give you that guy's number, or the summoning spell if you want."


"Cal-culating...ori-ginal price, U-S-D. Seven One One Two Three One. Aft-er adver-tised sales: Three Hundred Ninety Thousand Twenty Nine, Nintey Nine." It blinks its eye a single time, which both looks and sounds like a camera shutter closing and reopening, complete with three slightly swirly lens-cover things. "It should be not-ed the estimated savings from wise use-age are at least One Mil-lion."

[AmbushCat]

Callista: Hey, that's actually doable! Sweet.

*Callista takes a debit card out of her purse and hands it over. The backdrop is pitch black with stylized yellow criss-crossing claw marks across it. In the foreground is what you'd normally expect from a debit card: photo, institution ("Super-Cats' Infinite Defense"), number, and full name ("Callista Ophelia Wilson-Metallium").*

[Raleigh]

Sure, I would be stupid to turn down a new spell. I'm always up to acquire something new. Replicating that Cosmetic Moonlight Blaster can't be the only thing I take away from this after all.

[AmbushCat]

"Replicating that"...? Don't you already have a few galaxy-busting weapons stashed away somewhere?