Mungojerrie: Electric Slide

[AmbushCat]

Callista: Um... okay. I guess.

*The red-haired Russian who gave them the menus returns shortly thereafter.*

Lady: It's too quiet here.

Callista: *rolls her eyes* Yeah, Ivankov, I think we're ready to order. I'll have a large spaghetti with meat sauce, with a side of garlic bread.

Viridi: A medium Waldorf salad, please. Light on the mayo.

Phosphora: A small macaroni salad and two hard-boiled eggs.

*A horn can be heard honking from the arcade.*

Phosphora: Make that three hard-boiled eggs.

Ivankov: Yaah. *turns to Raleigh* And you, bombastic comrade?

[Raleigh]

I like this one. *He points to Ivankov.* I'll have three of the he-man burgers well done if you please. No cheese if possible.

[AmbushCat]

Ivankov: Yaah. I'm going. *writes down the orders and shambles back to the kitchen*

Phosphora: ... *to Callista* So, what's the story with the bomb enthusiast?

Callista: There's not much to tell. You familiar with the Red Alert series?

Phosphora: Sort of, but humor me.

Callista: Long story short, it takes place in this alternate universe where Hitler never came to power and the Soviet Union arose as the primary threat. They later started using units called "Crazy Ivans" as demolitions specialists, albeit quirky ones. One of them ended up in Muffinville after being seriously injured, got TFed, and was hired to work here as a server. All there is to it.

[Raleigh]

You know, I could help her with the limp.

[AmbushCat]

Callista: *shrugs* So could we. When we made the offer when we first brought her on, she refused and called it a "badge of honor". So we took the needed precautions to prevent infection and blood loss, then left it alone.

Viridi: *sighs* Why do humans have to be such stubborn idiots?

Callista: For the same reasons that gods tend to be massive jerks.

Viridi: *raises her hand in protest, then slowly lowers it* Touche'.

[Raleigh]

Ah, badge of honor type thing. I remember some soldiers that went out of their way to make sure they kept their scars in the past. I at least understood it in the case of the professional duelists as it showed off how tough they were and helped to validate their claims of experience so it was practical to their jobs.

[AmbushCat]

Viridi: Still seems rather silly to me.

Callista: And why is that?

Viridi: *huffs* It just does, okay? Let's talk about something else.

[Raleigh]

I've had a subordinate open a new spa in town. Has the usual amenities but if you order from the special menu you'll get some interesting effects. The Cyber Craze Makover for instance will turn you into a cyborg. Should be interesting to see what comes of it.

[AmbushCat]

Phosphora: Hmm, sounds like the sort of place I'd enjoy.

Viridi: Phosphora, I know you're our resident tech-head, but try not to sound too interested.

[Raleigh]

Hm... word of mouth is good advertisement after all it would seem.

[AmbushCat]

Phosphora: Though now I wonder if my lightning and the cyborg stuff would even be compatible...

[Raleigh]

Most likely if it is from my company. The products have to be able to compensate for a lot if I am likely to use them.

[AmbushCat]

Phosphora: *smiles* So it's compatible with goddesses, then. Sweet.

Callista: Somehow, I can't picture you as a cyborg.

Phosphora: And I can't picture you as a supermodel. It all evens out, don'tcha think?

Callista: Just because I'm an idiot doesn't mean that I'm stupid.

[Raleigh]

... Okay. We also have things that can tweak the customer if they want them. It is one of the few direct transformation businesses we are running.

[AmbushCat]

*Ivankov returns with Raleigh's meal, places it before him, and meanders back to the kitchen without saying anything.*

Phosphora: Now that I'd rather not have to deal with.

Viridi: Me either. The connection I have with the earth goes both ways, after all.

Callista: So supposing for the sake of argument that you were transformed into some kind of chicken girl...

Viridi: Then the planet would become extremely feathery and extremely delicious.

Callista: ... *grins* Cool. How soon can I have some?

Viridi: *head-desks* D'oh!